I’m fresh off of one of the longest work days ever! Or so it seems. I am unfortunately working a very unfulfilling job just to get by. I didn’t want to end up here, but it’s honestly my own fault. A little over a year ago, I got tired of fighting to be accepted and appreciated in an environment that wasn’t great for me, personally. That environment made me question if I really liked the industry I was in. Did I really care to stay in media and entertainment or could I do “anything” and be happy as long as I made decent money? Those questions were burning holes in my mind a year ago. I took the chance on walking off that job, for various reasons and thought I could start my own media company and “do anything” in route to making money not only to live and provide, but to also fund my upstart company. 12 months removed from that ideology and plan and I can tell you that I was dead wrong.
I should have taken the option of a transfer. Went to a different market and remained in the industry that I truly do have a lot of love for. I know that would have been a difficult conversation for my family and fiance, but I should have at least had it. Then again, it would be difficult to have that conversation when your own mind is doubting you, your situation and your purpose where you currently are.
Sometimes where you are and who’s around you can jade your reality. I doubted myself in my previous surroundings. I had no clue why I would get so much resistance or feedback or sometimes just flat out ignored. I didn’t understand why my passion and willingness to try and fail or excel and be great was never matched with the people I needed it to match with the most. That made me think that I needed to leave. That “this wasn’t for me” and I need to find a realm of likeminded individuals who wanted to prosper. I was right on needing to leave that place. But leaving the game was officially a big mistake. A mistake I hope to rectify before this year is up.
I’ve shut down my media company because I can’t afford the resources or the outsources. I figure before I get in way over my head, walk away and maybe pick it up in a better place at a different time. That leads up to right now. As I search for an “in” back in media and entertainment and receive rejections for other “regular jobs” I’m reminded of many lessons I’ve learned over the past few years.
Everything that has happened in the last year keeps telling me to “Make My Own Door”, but it’s been a battle acquiring the materials. Everything cost. Time truly is money. I’m currently only rich in time so I have a frame built, but it may be time to put the hammer up until I can afford the hinges, deadbolt lock and nice shiny doorknob. Probably need a peephole too.
I’ve learned that passion makes the money. If you don’t love the task you will under perform. Could I be great at this current job and climb the ladder like they want me to? Yes; If I actually liked being there. I can do anything when I sincerely want to. That’s the problem though. I don’t want to to do this. I don’t want to be here. I complained about my compensation quite a few times at my last stable gig. What would ease some of that conversation would be me saying “Well…At least I got a full time job in the industry”. That was enough for me for a long time. Looking back, that would be enough for me right now. This last year has put many things in great perspective for me. I just hope to make good with the new knowledge that I’ve retained.
Live your passion. Work your passion. Your passion will pay. I won’t say how much, but it will. If you can wake up and want to punch in doing whatever it is you do and go home content. You’ve won. I can’t wait to start winning again.