The firestorm of discussion in regards to Ayesha Curry’s statement on Red Table Talk has been…interesting.
On one hand men and some women are baffled by her seemingly glaring insecurity and ungratefulness (their words not mine). Then you have an overwhelming amount of women who are befuddled by the other side not understanding why they don’t understand that a married woman wants to know “she’s still got it”. Then there’s Twitter providing the tear jerking laughs I need in my life right now.
There is so much to unpack here, but it’s no need to turn this into a deep diving think piece about Mrs. Curry. Let’s talk about life and the experiences that anyone can digest no matter the tax bracket or race. Let’s leave it solely at a woman’s natural craving for vanity.
First, let’s come to the grips with the reality of the double standard on the issue of a married woman wanting to be noticed vs a married man wanting to be noticed.
It’s always been there, it’s just never been highlighted. Men historically shouldn’t be motivated by “she think I’m cute”. That’s historically a woman thing. Men are the “Hunter Gather” and women are the “Nurturer”. With nurture comes attention and the need of acknowledgement of vanity. Women are wired to be seen as sunsets, oceans and rainbows. Men are wired with the intent to build and provide. Even “Universally ugly” but successful men will attract beautiful women because they lead a lifestyle of attention and admiration. Women want attention and admiration.
Men shouldn’t be angered by a woman that wants to be seen, acknowledged and desired. They should step back to understand it. Even a woman insecure about her own looks, weight and status in life wants the attention of knowing she is “more” or “better” than what she personally sees. Even a married one. The natural instinct doesn’t change just because the relationship status does. Is this true for 100% of women? No. But nothing is ever true for 100% of anyone.
Why is it a double standard? Allow me to run a short list of men who could not say what Ayesha Curry said verbatim and cause a split in social commentary.
It would be deemed socially unacceptable and disrespectful on ungodly levels for a man to speak this way in regards to wanting female attention. Their partner would be deemed more than enough or too much for that man by women that do and don’t know them and the court of public opinion would dig up every past scandal, break baby and DM to prove that man isn’t shit.
So listen, fellas. Do not try to win the “I want attention too” or “My attention should be enough” game. It’s not becoming of you as a man and well, women who do and don’t know or want you will never honor it. Besides, you’re not built for that type of action. You’d probably lose the relationship you have if you really got all the attention you wanted. That or never have one. That’s honestly why you shouldn’t be in love with a woman more than yourself. You will get lost and literally die trying to appease her craving for allure and vanity. However, you do have to support it
Now, let’s talk about the natural craving women have for Vanity. Social media is the best and worst thing that could have happened to women. It gives them everything they want and don’t at the same time. Those things are control an competition.
On one hand you have beautiful women getting all the attention. Then you have the women who screenshot, “expose” and complain about “dudes being too thirsty and trying to holla”. The women who are seen as “cute or decent” want the “beautiful girl attention” so they may resort to certain tactics to get seen, until the “testosterone charged” attention comes with it. Then it’s time to block, delete or “re-brand”. Lastly, are the women who seemingly “no one is checking for.” They want to be in any tier but the tier they are in. They would welcome the lewd emojis and dick pics but they are deemed “hoes” to the other women that are “tired of getting them”. They have attention, but for them, it’s not enough. Wild part is, no matter how great they look to YOU, THEY will almost always feel they are “not enough”. Men, think about all those unanswered compliments and emojis. Those “read DM’s”. All of that by a woman who will still post about “nobody checking for her”. But you been putting your bid in since High School.
All of it is rooted in the natural need for attention, allure and vanity. It’s why women master angles and delete social accounts. It’s why big girls only post cleavage selfies until they feel body positive enough to post a TBT of when they were smaller or the unfortunate post surgery pics. I say unfortunate because I don’t think any person should do that to themselves. The problem isn’t your body. It’s your mind and how you feel about you. Shout to the BBW’s that have SLAUGHTERED Instagram this year. They showing out! I like it and honor it!
To bring it full circle, Men are blamed for the attention or lack of attention all women get. If you love a nice big booty, girls that don’t even want you, want you to tell them they got a nice booty too. If you love a woman’s hair, lips or outfit, the women around you want that same love or they don’t feel as confident, beautiful and contemplate what the difference is because “we all got the same thing”. And don’t dare tell him “No, that’s different” You might as well prepare your eulogy yourself. How do I know this? Let’s just call it trial and error.
What comes along with Vanity? The chase! Ayesha Curry admitted she’s not on NOTHING! She just wants a man to give her some attention so she can do what she wants with the moment. It will do nothing more than feed her ego and well, men have to deal with that. Single, Married or Complicated, you won’t find a woman that doesn’t want this at some level.
A married woman saying flirt with me in a “no win for you” situation is okay. A married man flirting with no intent to pursue will breed a questionnaire about his wife and if she is okay with this behavior from a world of women that feel a way about what they heard or saw. I don’t make the rules, I just understand them.
I had a young lady once tell me, she enjoys being elusive. That the idea of chasing her and the mystery to who she is was actually the best part of “the game”. After that was revealed and clear, I realized that I was in a no win situation. Sure, I could be as open, honest and forward as I liked, but I was getting nowhere in what I wanted to know about her. WE were getting nowhere, but SHE was getting everything she needed. A man pouring out his heart in admiration, jubilation and pure wanting of her. Great for her and honestly made me feel like the biggest sucker on earth when I broke it down in my mind. I didn’t get angry though. I just got real. I understood what the game was and decided the game was over. It was cool to play because I learned a valuable lesson. End of day, I’m not a man enthralled by the never-ending chase. I just can’t make time and energy for that. Running behind a woman is not me. I wasn’t created for that life. I really hope she finds a man that does though.
As a TMI suggestion for you fellas reading; Masturbate before you talk to a woman like the above and you may find out that she doesn’t like you at all or that you like her WAY MORE than she has ever liked you. When you know, act as your heart and mind tell you too. Dare I say, the goals and purpose you have in your life will help you make the decision as well.
Does every human walking God’s green and blue earth want love and attention? Yes! However, for women it is a life source. Even a poor man can fancy a woman with the right amount of attention. Your girl, wife or daughter will never get enough of your positive acknowledging, so once you start you can’t decrease or stop. It’s best you understand now to avoid an argument later. Yes, men; Keep your focus on your goals, ambitions and success. Cause that attention is also something women desire. A man seen doing well will never get tiresome to a woman. Ayesha has that type of attention too! Yet she fancies the male attention in addition to that.” The greater the lifestyle and attention you can provide for a woman the better.
Women gravitate to the best of the best and that’s in every aspect of life. Ambitious men do too! It’s why a million dollars breeds a hunger for more and why many men are in pursuit of cars, houses and money in every state or country they can get it. It’s bigger than right or wrong in a relationship. It’s the understanding of human nature and what you naturally crave. We are only different when we talk discipline.