Sick, Unfulfilled and Too Concerned

Man! The last few days, I can honestly live without. Well not really cause I’d be dead, but you get me. I been a little under the weather. Something that I expected to happen honestly. That’s no big deal. A little coughing, hacking and nose blowing is only temporary. These work feelings though.

This week at work was the first time in a long time where I felt underutilized and I was truly just capable of better than what I was doing. Sometimes you’re in an environment and you can feel how out of place you are. You know you’re not going to “adjust” “fit in” or “get used to this”. That monster was glaring me in the face this week. I’m back to “doing whatever” to get a dollar and at the same time I’m thinking “I should be their manager”. I said to myself quite a few times this week, “How did my skill-set get me here?” It’s almost to a point now where I don’t even know what I’m being patient for.

This also hasn’t been the greatest creative week for me either. I’m racking my brain about the future and next steps and I probably don’t need to. I’ve completed a big goal and we’ll talk about it soon. Maybe it’s best I just sit back and let some things happen and come to mind instead of forcing results. It always works when I’m writing. That’s why I stopped one project and picked up another. That’s why so many brand ideas are flooding my mind, but nothing seems to stick. I’m going to chill. Let life happen and comeback with something great. I can’t wait to share my news with you all soon!

#TBT: An Idea for the Student Athlete [April 2016]

Talking after our podcast last night, I came up with what I think is a valuable solution to the question, Should college athletes get paid? I am a whole hearted advocate of this, especially with all of the multi million dollar institutions that profit off of the literal blood, sweat and tears of thousands of young athletes, some of which will never make the NBA or other pro circuits of their sport of choice. I’m going to focus on basketball for this post, but after my explanation you can see how it can relate to any sport.

I’m going to get a formal proposal together for this once I seek out the correct channels, but here are my thoughts right now.

I believe “Professional Athlete” should be a course of study for the students that either know they have a great shot at going pro or know this is what they are going to do with their life, no matter what happens.

If we are being honest, we all know that, Pro athlete is a full time job and it should be treated as such. Playing college ball should be a paid internship. I believe the students should be able to make a percentage of their jersey sales. These athletics programs bring in millions; Giving these kids 30-50K would not hurt them. Just like the NBA players, they won’t get paid equally and pay should be behavior, performance and academically based.

What classes should Pro athletes take?
English [Business writing]
Accounting and Finance
Business Management

The rest of their time should be dedicated to practice and the game itself. If you give them enough real experience and put a GPA mandate on these kids, they will know the value of a playing spot on a team and money earned, just like in the NBA.

I think this would appease the universities and the athletes. I think this is the chance to step into a new era of responsibility and accountability. I also believe it would place these young guys and gals in a simulated environment of what to expect come graduation day and or draft day. You may even get some students to stay longer if they are not NBA shoe-ins or those exceptional high school students might at least play 1 or 2 years. The course of study prepares them for the NBA, D-League or Overseas because it’s all life and career based.

All the above could also could be used for college football students. A much more violent game where the long term affects can limit their success when they decide to call it career.

When The Hate Inside Dies

I just let a person know that I am done hating them today. A person who I loathed for so long. A person who’s death was wanted and at one time I felt would grant me great solace. I know, I couldn’t believe I did it either. I tell you what though. It felt really good to do it. I felt some release of pressure and a regaining of power while crafting this letter and a great deal of closure when delivering it.

It’s wrong to hate and I knew that. I’ve always known that. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in the wrong that has been done to you and wanting retribution for those wrongs that you lose yourself and who you are supposed to be in the midst of the madness. I was definitely lost. My anger, fire and hatred would eat me alive and completely exhaust me.

I want to say it’s almost a year to the date when I had the conversation with my mom about this person. I told my mom, “I’m over all of this. The hating, arguing and fighting. I just can’t do it anymore. I’m going to focus on me and what matters most to me.” My mom was glad to hear me say that. Although I said it that day, I didn’t make the person aware of that. I will say when I made up in my mind that I would cease my hatred things changed. The change was within me. I became more relax, carefree and focused on my true task. The sight of this person and the sound of their voice wouldn’t ignite fury as it once did before. As I let go of more rage, hate, fury, anger and wrath, I began to see better. I also began to care less about that persons actions towards me. That gave me a sense of power. Power I don’t think I’ve felt with this person ever. That’s how I know it was the right thing to do.

This person and I won’t be friends. I’m working on 100% forgiveness, but will never ever forget the things this person made me feel. Those feelings consumed me and almost ruined my life. It’s why I’m in a state of mental repair. We’ll probably never have a relationship of trust, but God willing there will be some respect moving forward. No matter the future, I am at peace today. I have began to heal, by letting go and focusing on the things in life that really matter to me. I am empowered by slaying my internal hate and it’s beautiful.

Taking Time For Gratitude

Today has been a soul healing day. I feel good about the things I have done with my words and my expressions of gratitude today.

As I put the finishing touches on this book, I got a chance to go back in time and relive some great moments with some truly great people. People that I may have taken for granted in real time. People that were really turning my dreams into goals and were doing what they could to help me achieve them. It was something that I never analyzed and appreciated in real time. I say that because I ended up stopping my pursuit of that dream. It was about me and how I felt mentally and where I thought I should have been with my life and I stopped. No warning, no conversation just an extreme halt. That wasn’t right for me to do to the people that believed. It takes a special person to help you achieve something that only you see. That doesn’t happen often. I realize that more than ever right now.

I sent out thank you messages and letters with an apology today. I apologized because I don’t ever want generosity to be perceived as taken in vain. I don’t want these people to feel like I didn’t appreciate their work and sacrifice towards my goals and aspirations. My progress was in large part to them. I’m indebted to these people no matter what our current relationship is today.

This moment and this day, is going to be great content for another book I plan to do in the future. Right now, it’s all about my first one. A composition collection that blends my past and present with hopes of building a solid future. I’m beyond excited for you all to experience this. Whether you love or hate it, I adore you for giving it a chance. Talk soon.

What’s In A Name

I didn’t think I would think so hard about site and social media names until right now. As I prepare to make my return back to my favorite social platforms, I am strapped with the task of new social media handles that make sense. As always I don’t want to be boxed in and confined to a specific task. However, I understand that I sit in a spot currently not being known for anything.

I want something of my own, but would like for it to translate into my next career move as well. I also understand that using what I have now can develop what I can do later. I want something easy, catchy, memorable, yet unique, nostalgic and universal. I can come up with great names for anything but myself. It’s the most unexpected hard task I’ve had to conquer.

The words, phrases and numbers that come to mind are

Writer Camp
The Port
Only One

See how I’m all over the place? I hate to make another change, but I’m just not satisfied with the setup of everything right now. I like it, but I’m not in love with it. The idea is to make it permanent. I definitely want it solidified before this book officially comes out. If you got solutions, I’m all ears. Email Thanks!

Ideas In Layers

What a great time to think clearly and believe in yourself. I went from working on one book. To starting two books. To having a book complete. To now adding what I feel are great enhancements to the completed book.

I’ll explain more about the book when I get in the publishing phase, but sitting and thinking of all of my writings in the past and how some of them are still relatable today made me really dig up some past work to share to a new audience. My previous years as a writer will be adjoined with the fresh new writings and poems of this year for one project that will represent me as a writer in the best possible manner. It also gave me the opportunity to do some reprises and deliver different concepts of both darkness and light.

My writing introduction is so important to me. I can’t just put out any project. I also don’t want my range and creativity to be lost.The first book I started has pretty heavy content. Heavy and niche. I don’t want to be confined to that box and have people misunderstand my thorough talent of writing. I want to show versatility, creativity and emotion for my first effort. I also want to give my future audience what I can do effortlessly. This completed book will be my first of many masterpieces. My babies. My art. I can’t wait for you all to see this. I want to open you up to the world that exist in my mind. This first effort will do a great job of that.

I have a little more to create before I consider this book complete. I can do that while I wait on the book’s cover art to be completed. Then, I contemplate marketing strategies. Talk soon!