To Be…

To have my smile be infectious to a heart and be reflected

For my playful nature to be accepted. Release tension and be connected with

To be warm, carefree and calm

A detour from the world and the wrong that’s going on, is what I want.

To ignite genuine happiness being free as my thoughts allow

Never holding back a piece of myself never ceasing or dialing down.

Living, connecting, understood, appreciated.

Not cause of my title, but because of my being. To my core be celebrated.

I long to be like the pics I’ve seen. No contingency or complications.

I thought I had the pics I’ve seen, but the feeling is lost or deflated.

A New Sacrifice

I’m officially on day 31 of thinking about what to do with my life. I’m refreshed, I’m clear and my overall demeanor is focused. This is all in the wake of a lot of lost, misfortune and expectations not being met this year.

I’m thinking about my goals and the life I see for myself and honestly, I believe there is one more sacrifice to make. This one may be deemed so crazy that I don’t even want to share in detail here. What’s clear right now is there’s nothing standing in my way and no one has the opportunity to talk me out of what’s in my mind. That may be the scenario that I’ve truly been asking for all this time.

What’s very real is my podcasts, magazines and shirts are what I want to do with my life. Every investment I can make to those is a great benefit. The question that remains is, how much of a sacrifice am I willing to put towards all of it? How uncomfortable am I willing to be? How much am I willing to put on the line to show how much I believe? I think I’ve found a new level that I am willing to go for all the above. There are still things I want. There’s a new level of sacrifice to get them. Every sacrifice is not meant to be understood or explained; So I won’t. I’m just going to plan and pray. My gut is telling me to step out on faith and do something that I don’t think many people around me could or would do. And maybe that’s all the reason why I have to make it happen.

2020 Mother’s Day Thoughts

I’m in an odd space today. My grandma passed this year and honestly, a lot of my personal life has come tumbling down with that moment. She’s gone, my Mom and I got into it over a personal matter and although there’s been no hostile angry or bitter exchange, my daughter’s mother and I don’t have the greatest relationship.

On this Mother’s Day, I’m going to take the time out to look in the mirror. Understand where I’m falling short. Looking at what I want and how I go about getting it. Where is my focus? How can I build and maintain better relationships with women? Sometimes making yourself the common denominator is the only way you will reach true resolution.

With that being said, let me think on what to do with my time today. Let that time to think today make me better for tomorrow.

If you are a mom or if you’re expecting to be a mom, Happy Mother’s Day. You perform a beautiful act of God and we should respect, love and secure you because of that alone. Condolences to everyone who has lost their mom or the mother in their life. I know a day like this or any other special day can’t be easy. A sincere prayer for you to cope will be said by me today.

Happy Sunday. Happy Mother’s Day. Love

Tides Turn…

Man, how the tide can turn
The world of social media
Can turn reality upside down
The quest for likes shares and follows
Attention, acknowledgement and praise

Filters washing the blemishes
Photoshop clearing the haze
Too much consumption
Will put your mind in an ugly place

The girl that once confidently stood
On the please don’t inbox
And Never is when I would
Will be in the reactions and thread
Of that very same man
Cause that recognition feels too good

That man that shoots his shot
Like open gym with no attendees
Is ridiculed, screenshot and posted
Until his wedding day pics with his queen

Man, how the tide can turn
How the emotion changes or fades
A world that promotes you should post consistently
While humans evolve any hour in a day