2020 has started off great in the reality check department for me. I’ve had a chance to reflect on missed opportunity and the why. Sometimes you can just not be ready. Other times it could simply be that the opportunity wasn’t meant to be. Then there are the times where you might have talked yourself out of a situation by wanting too much too soon or too much in general.
Under the guise of “Know your worth” it’s also important to “Know what you’re doing currently” and that isn’t talked about much. Currently we are in a society where everyone is saying “Go get what’s yours” and we live by the Jay lyric of “Overcharging for what they did to the Cold Crush”, but one key thing left out is; Have you earned the opportunity to do that? Today, I sit here and think maybe, just maybe I haven’t.
Sometimes we get wrapped up in “what we’ve done” and that puts an incorrect price tag on our worth. We may be speaking from a tone of “Give me back pay” when actually the real task is proving you are still worth what you got and some more. You can only prove that by seizing an opportunity and showing insurmountable worth during that time. Many of us feel that we should get everything up front so we can show and prove. That no matter the circumstance or industry is inaccurate. Real life, no one cares what we’ve done. They care about what we can do for them right now. Every day, week, month, quarter and year is a chance to prove that you are earning your spot, your dollar and the next opportunity. That should be embraced, especially if you truly believe in yourself and what you have to offer. Maybe it was the exhaustion of my mind and the subtle trauma and bitterness the hits me at times, but I lost sight of that. I realize now that I wanted someone else to pay for what I’ve already done. I was hoping that payment would prove that I am everything I said I was. As I reflect I know that’s wrong. I know that’s wrong because of watching Carmelo Anthony’s story.
Melo is a great example for all of us. He’s not the 100 million contract guy anymore, but he was definitely always able to play NBA level basketball. The league put him in a tight spot, citing him as the problem and seemingly forcing him out while his tank was at least 3/4’s full. It all boiled down to Melo simply wanting to play basketball. It wasn’t about being option 1 or having a franchise tag or huge contract. His bottom line was “I wanna hoop and I still can hoop” give me a chance to prove that.
Now with the Blazers, He took an opportunity to prove that he can still hoop vs wanting a price tag he felt he was worth. I applied Melo’s situation to mine. What’s real about my situation is that I truly do want to be apart of the entertainment industry. It’s also clear that I don’t want to be in the same sector I once was. I can finally close the door on that because I just don’t have it in my heart anymore. I really gave it all I had and end of the day, I don’t feel like that portion of the game loved me back. The great thing about the entertainment industry is that there are so many other “IN’s” and you can still do everything you dreamed just by simply walking through a different door. I’m at the doorway of that different door. I’ve knocked. I’m patiently waiting.
I’ll be back in the entertainment industry full time by summer. I can feel it. It’s time to get some new love at a new door. “I wanna hoop”.