Today, I decided…Career.

I been up a few hours thinking about the future. What do I truly want out of life? What can I accomplish in a year? Does the balance of career and family really exist?

Looking at the people I admire and the things that I want to do, the revelation I came to was no, it doesn’t exist. At least not in the early stages. I still consider myself at stage one. There is so much I want to do with my time and energy. So many milestones I have yet to hit and so many people I have not met and I can’t leave this earth with so many things unfinished.

With that said, I am officially putting my career first in my life. Success makes me happy. I need success in my career to build a real foundation for my family. That is how they go hand in hand.

What I’ve learned over the last 8-10 years is you’re going to miss things, but you are in control of what you miss and why you miss those things. As example, I’d much rather miss my daughters birthday party and be able to fund it than to miss her birthday party because I can’t afford to make it the party. I find better comfort in providing and being busy, than to struggle but have plenty of time.

Plus, I like to be active. I sleep but I’m not an 8-10 hour sleep, lay in bed for another 30-45, then maybe get the day started around 9-10 type of person. I get so much done between the hours of 5-9am some days that I don’t understand why I got on this train so late. Then again, getting up to do things you love to do is not tiring. It’s part of the “job”. I hated getting up early for school and jobs. That felt draining. Me trying to network and brand build in the world of media and entertainment. Different story. Which reminds me, I realized how terrible I am at networking this weekend and I really need to get my act together.

To my friends and family, I’m still here and around, but I have to improve my quality of life. This isn’t personal. I must do this out of fear. Fear of dying broke, with debt that I will pass on to my family. That is my biggest fear. I have to face that fear and conquer it. I can’t do it with this much “balance” and “time off”. I have to be relentless if I’m truly going to accomplish my goals. I’m not who I want to be in this one life right now. I won’t be satisfied with life until I become what I see in my mind.

So now begins the journey of going full force at being who I see. I have to do a lot more, meet a lot more people and work a lot harder if I’m going to change my life. No days off and failure is not an option. Year 9 and I’m just getting started. Let’s do this.