This Week’s Plan

Today starts a week of me doing things differently to get the mental stimulation to keep my creativity up. I’m going to talk to someone or drive somewhere or do something to cause a shift in my mind.

It’s a positive self indulging mission all week. Let’s stir this pot!

6AM on October 24th

Making time to create, to gain success so you can quit your job can be difficult. Sometimes the motivation for the little things are off. I really wished I had thought like I am thinking now, 3 years ago.

This time in 2016 I was about to start a new job. What I could have been doing was writing. I could have created this blog and began writing books then. I had to move back in with my mom and was rent free and living off my last checks and soon after unemployment.

Instead of doing that, I was looking for media jobs. That lead to looking for work in general. Those things lead to the less than desirable path that I had ample opportunity to avoid. Even though I say this, all those moments had to happen. They had to happen because it eventually lead it’s way to this moment. The story isn’t told the same if I start in 2016. There are some details and some content that don’t make “Living In A Beautiful Disaster” if 2016 ends differently. So I can’t ponder or harp on the “what if”; I need to make the most of now.

I would really like to get out. See or do something to keep the words flowing. That always helps. No excuses. I will try to provide a shock to my reality immediately. Even if it means taking a day off. I’m going to do something to help open me up mentally so I can add more color to my creations.

Challenges of The Misunderstood

Up realizing a reason I don’t talk much is because the reception isn’t always the greatest. Sometimes you hit a person with a whirlwind of words and they hold back. They don’t say much or of course the classic misinterpretation.

I’m sure many feel like “I want to share, but I don’t want to overshare.” “I would tell you, but you can’t handle what I’m feeling.” Those feelings may cause anxiety, self doubt or depression. That’s why the use of art is so beautiful. Through artistic expression, love, pain, hurt, sadness, pressure and other feelings and energies are released for the world to interpret. Some get it, some don’t. Some connect and some never understand. That’s literally life. We all need that no matter what we do and go through

I have a tendency to pour out too much of my heart with no reciprocation…

That’s a bar! I have no clue how I’m going to use that, but I thought of it today, ha! Maybe that’s just meant to stand alone and be what it is to whoever sees it.

I think I’ll create today. What? I don’t know, but it will be something. Enjoy your weekend!

Living All Layers

It feels like I am connecting with myself like never before. I’m not plagued by the opinions of anyone and I am ready to explore so many different things and thoughts on my mind.

Some days I want to wear a suit and dance like Diddy. Other days I want to dye my hair and take painting classes. It’s a really cool time to be in my mind. I’m going to explore and experiment more. Going to use the world as my canvas. Speaking of canvas, I doubt I’ll get any tattoos. I rarely have permanent thoughts, so permanent ink kind of scares me a little. I’m also not a fan of needles. I would look away for a penicillin shot right now if I had to take one. Who knows though. I do have some dope ideas for tattoos. I wrote about one sometime last year.

I don’t know if all these layers were suppressed or just peaking. I just know the time is now.

Focused On Me, Not Business

I used the early part of my day to do nothing. Well, I did my taxes and took out the trash, so that was something. I was “not feeling” working out which sucks for my body goal, but sometimes it’s good to just let your mind and body rest.

The rest I took today lead to more thinking. I been thinking I’ve approached the last 3 years wrong. I spent a lot of time and a decent amount of money trying to be an Entrepreneur and build this media company. It was a cool learning process, but was it fulfilling? I got to say grand scheme, no.

Sure, I want to “be my own boss” and I do think I’m a leader. However, CEO and Entrepreneur; Maybe that’s not me. Why? Because the qualities that it takes to excel at being that don’t make me happy. It’s also not my natural gift that can be polished and shown to the world in all its glory. A CEO cares about the numbers, growing the numbers and crushing competition for the number 1 spot. It’s the nuts, bolts, analytics and tough decisions with no emotion involved. It’s love of the non stop hustle. The grind of turning nothing into something. Winning as big as you lose but never giving up. It’s also the selling of self and product. The mastering of networking as well as supply and demand. Sure having passion for the product or service helps, but sometimes all of that can or would be considered being thrown out the window in an effort to profit or stay afloat. Do I have some of these qualities? Yeah. I will even go on record as being told that people have seen them in me and can’t wait for me to take it next level. Between me you and God, I have no clue how that would happen.

So with the above said, who am I? Well, I’m an artist. I care about the creating, the crafting and the connection with just one over many. The numbers would be great but I’m over concerned with the quality of the product or service and how I feel when it’s done. I don’t mind the hustle, but an off day from the grind sparks some of my best ideas. I write, record and wish I could paint or play this guitar in my closet. While I respect a Clive Davis, I’m more intrigued by Babyface. Long story shorter, I’m a creator. You don’t really need a business to be what I excel at naturally.

The understanding of that on a new level has helped me out greatly. No longer am I adding the pressures of Entrepreneur success on my shoulders. I’d rather Friend and work with Gary Vee and Daymond John than actually be them. They still inspire me, but their path is not mine and that is ok.

My forthcoming book is art. You won’t increase your business acumen from it. It’s not going to be a product that inspires the next successful person on the Forbes list. What it will do is paint pictures, strike nerves and make emotions flood. It’s life, told in a perspective from a person who has lived and still has more living to do. Some of the greatest Entrepreneurs in the world can’t do that. But that doesn’t mean they couldn’t hire me to do that for them.

Feels good to know me better. Now it’s time to be and do me better than ever. After all, no one else can.

A Pledge To The Creators

I wanted to share this. Not just as a FB post, but as a pledge. A pledge to myself and a positive word to all of you that create. You who may have reservations and apprehensions about what you are creating. I think it’s important that we remind ourselves of certain things.
To The Creators. Just create.
F**k opinions, critiques or what you think people want to see, hear or do. People don’t know s**t. That’s why bandwagons exist. That’s why they find out late and move on to the next thing so quickly.
Create for you. Not because “that’s what’s hot” or “this is the new trend”. Create because it’s in your heart and burning a hole in your mind. Create because if you don’t get it out, you feel you may explode and the world will never truly see what you had in store. Create because it heals. It gives life. It can release whatever inside of you so you can move on and be better than ever.
Pick any instrument or object of choice. Just please; Create.