Thank You, Grandma.

My grandma was the realist friend I ever had on earth…I learned so much from her. She’s forever with me and I know it’s on me to step in ever aspect of life.

Since her service, the only song on my mind has been “Praise Him” (Jesus Blessed Savior) and her performing it every Sunday. Although I was extremely shy to get up and sing in church in front of everyone, I loved when she sang this when she lead devotion. She believed every word of this and she would make you feel every word. I can still hear her ad-libs in my head. Today is the first day I was able to listen to it without crying. That’s a good start. I doubt I’ll ever be over this emotionally but I hope to be stronger and better through it all

I don’t know how I’m going to do what I have to do now, but I’m going to do it. I don’t know why the new moves and ideas are on my mind, but it feels good to have them in my spirit. My guess is God is still moving for me and my Grandma is pointing down saying, “That’s my Grandson. Help him out with some direction if you could.” I want to keep doing the things that make you proud of me. Even at your visitation, I can feel you still looking out for me. If angels are real, I have the greatest one.

Thank you, Grandma. I’ll love you forever and hope to talk to you soon.

But You Could Die…

If you keep waiting till the year change, you could die.
Spirit wondering what could have been as your lifeless body lies.
Wishing you wouldn’t have waited since no man or woman knows their time.
A memory, an RIP, a teary-eyed goodbye…

If you wait till the ball drops then you drop to your knees…
Clutching your heart, stopping the party, a face of grit in sheer agony
What will the rest of your year be? Will it even be?
Are you really going to wait and see?
Your “soon I’ll start” mission no longer your destiny…

Your new year is now. Create your wanted season of change.
Be what you want, be what you saw and foreseen today.
Cause you can make plans for next week
And die before the end of today.
How long will you wait? Cause you didn’t plan to die today.

Image by DarkWorkX from Pixabay

50 Cent on Many Men

Sunny days wouldn’t be special if it wasn’t for rain
Joy wouldn’t feel so good if it wasn’t for pain
Death gotta be easy, ‘cause life is hard
It’ll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred

Processing Death

Hearing about death can be humbling. I’m in a period of life where it takes some time to process. Death has been pretty busy around me the last 2 years. It’s shocked, stunned and frozen me in my tracks. Doesn’t seem to get easier to cope with at first mention these days.

It’s a reminder that every day should be cherished. Every moment should not be taken for granted and tomorrow can be the last time you are seen or heard.

I need silence when I hear about death. I need a moment to myself. Whether it’s a drive, a walk or a sit in complete silence, I need it. I’m not sure how to grieve, but clearing my mind is always a great way to keep on pushing.

RIP to my friend and colleague KG. He was a really good person and I had nothing but respect for him. I hope he’s in a state of happiness with no pain. I hope he is smiling and is in a better place.

I send my condolences to his family both blood and radio bonded as well as his friends. You’ll be missed KG. Talk soon.