A thought from 10-22-12

When you take a leap of Faith, You might land on your dreams….

Faith Over Desperation

I try to be a man of Faith. A man of Faith believes in the path that he is on. The journey is endured because he knows a brighter day is on the horizon. With Faith it’s not a matter of how but when.

But sometimes my mind fills with thoughts of desperation. A man of desperation does absolutely anything to escape where he currently is. Desperation is the feeling of no way out. The thought that maybe Faith has to be taken and not waited on.

To have Faith but feel Desperate is like having the heart and the mind argue about what’s next. Both feel so real. Both want change. It’s just hard to know who’s right sometimes.

Maybe I’m desperately hanging on to my faith…

Advice I Should Take

I had a talk with a guy I do business with yesterday. Him and his wife are coming up on hard times and they are very discouraged. I reached out to him yesterday in hopes that I could give him some business but it just wasn’t possible. I asked how were things going and he said he wish he could report great news but he was still in the storm.

I told him to “Keep your High Faith in Low Times” and that he would be back and better than ever. He gave me respect and appreciation and told me he would share my words with his wife.

It was in that moment where I knew I needed to take heed to my own advice after the conversation I had with my wife. I’ve let my circumstance get to me and take me down a notch. Good things are happening and I’m not embracing and appreciating that enough. I took need to keep my “High Faith in Low Times” like I told him.

Although I like the fact that I can pick someone else up when I’m down, I got to believe in the things I say more than anyone else. That’s integrity 101 and I can’t administer if I don’t exude.

As I walk into this weekend, I will keep my own words to others in mind. I will work to embody what I say and believe, even when the road gets tough. Tough roads are the character builders on life’s journey. You only make it through the journey with high faith.

Have a great weekend

Maybe I Don’t Believe In God Enough…

Maybe I Don’t Believe In God Enough…

How could I while thinking My destiny is in my own hands
Like I’m going to pull the strings to solely create my desired reality
Like I’m truly in control of the narratives true or fallacy

Maybe I don’t believe in God Enough…

Faith fails in the midst of worry
The wonders of why others succeeded and how should scurry
Cause what’s meant for me is to focus and keep working

I Don’t believe in God enough…

Because when I left that job, I got scared
I felt devalued and too weird
No clue how to get more
And walked consumed with silent fears

I didn’t trust his process
Block out the nonsense
Prepare myself for a better day
Understand that “He Got This”

When I believed in God enough…

Opportunities appeared
Great passions were revealed
Foggy paths became clear

The right people reach out
I started conquering self doubt
Found new life to create
Knew I was down but not done and out

Do I believe in God enough???

I’d have to say such
Now it’s time to know what happens
When I believe in God too much…

An MLK Quote That Directed My Life

It’s Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. day and this is one of my favorite quotes from him.

Once I truly began to understand what this quote really meant, my life change. Taking that first step out on faith is why I got into broadcasting. It’s why I created BehindTheRhyme.com and why I’ve pursued this media passion even further while making no money from it for the last year and a half. I have faith that because when I create in this media space I feel complete. I don’t tire or get frustrated. The words fail, quit and move on are non existent when I’m in this space. That’s how I was meant to live life. The staircase to my dream is there. I just have to keep on stepping in this direction. When I was getting paid as a member of the media, the journey got very difficult. A lot of resistance, rejection and “No”. I never let that completely stop me, but it did make this journey within the system difficult. Now, I’m doing everything that got a “No” from others and the feeling is euphoric. That makes it all worth while. Do I want it to pay off? YES! Immediately! However, I want to love it and that means more than anything and is the most valuable piece of this puzzle.

My dream is to master conversation and storytelling. I feel I get closer to that mastery every day I crack a mic or set up a camera. Who knows when the day of mastery will come. All I know is I’m enjoying every mile of the ride.

Salute to Dr. King. A man of great passion, faith and character, who believed his words and actions would change the world. A belief so crazy that it came true in less than 40 years of life. Now his words fuel my dreams and I dream to be as impactful in my own way.

Have a great day!

Working Out And Miracles

Yesterday was the epitome of highs and lows. It started low but reached a tremendous high. Didn’t feel well physically so I didn’t workout. Took time to get a little rest and wrote. I started listening to my station and got very frustrated. So I hopped on YouTube, learned more about the broadcasting system and BAM! The station started sounding glorious! I was proud of myself. I learned, applied and executed. Can’t get much better than that.

Then, the promos started playing back to back and cutting off early because of the fader. I got to fix that now! Then a couple long standing financial woes reached out to me to let me know they are still here and well…I better do something before someone who has nothing to do with it is affected. It’s a trash feeling. I never want anyone to be affected or go down because of my mistakes or missteps. I don’t mind taking the lumps. I just want to do it solo.

So I spent a good portion of my evening and day thinking in heavy anxiety, hoping for a miracle and in a state that was pretty dead inside. So dead I didn’t truly enjoy this burning bowl service I went to last night like I should have. It was a really good service. I just couldn’t get out of my own head. However, during service miracle things started happening.

When my list started burning, I felt something and exhaled. It was weird. It wasn’t the smoke, just a feeling. I was still stuck in my state, but that moment lightened me up. Then, the choir sang “Praise Him”. That’s not just another gospel hymn. That’s one of my Grandma’s favorite songs. Whenever she lead worship at church, that song made her rotation. My Grandma is who I would normally talk to at times like this. Call me crazy, but that was a sign of a miracle moving my direction.

Today, I worked out and felt an incredible release of energy and congesting anxiety leave me. All while listening to a radio station I programmed. It still needs work, cause these drops are killing me right now! However, I can’t deny the broadness and unpredictability is exactly what I wanted. So I love it even with this small fixable flaw!

All things considered, I’m still in need of a couple more miracles. With my mind much clearer than last night perhaps what needs to be done will appear clearer. One thing is certain, I can’t lay down and die. The universe is still moving in my favor