Woke up with thoughts of people I don’t talk to anymore. It’s interesting considering how the beginning of this week dominated with thoughts about pursuing happiness for the rest of my life. I won’t be reaching out, but I do wonder why the thoughts of those people appeared.
It’s wild how the mind works. How it makes you tap into old times and estranged acquaintances. Even crazier when you think about how you may have called those acquaintances “friend” or “family”. Was it ever truly that? Was that just the “positive slang” that was used to greet and identify? Who truly knows? What’s very real is the memories and the lessons learned. Life is a wild ride if you’re living it right.
Other than that, I feel career happiness getting extremely close. I wish I could properly explain what’s going through my mind. What I can tell you is, if you’re happy the progress is instant. Your worries lessen and for me anxiety to “make it happen” have switched to “a matter of time” from an “I don’t know” or “what if?”
I feel good. Not cause it’s Friday, but cause I’m finally in control of my happiness. It’s less people around and it’s over for me entertaining opportunities that don’t lift my spirits and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I officially started a life insurance policy. This was a task that was Long overdue. One of my new biggest fears is leaving this earth and leaving my family needing to start a Go Fund Me just to cremate me and stay afloat in my demise. That’s also super disrespectful on my end. How can I spend my time on this earth, live and create life and not make sure those lives are in the best possible position when mine is over?
It may be an extreme way of thinking but it’s why I made the decision I did today. I feel really bad for families that have to ask for money or not know how they are going to eat and live without the head of the household around. It truly is heartbreaking on so many levels. I want to play the game of life smarter going into the next decade. Cause when the game is over, it’s over.
Grant it, I plan to be around till 115, but who knows what my 40’s and the new decade will bring. I may have more children, I may develop an illness. I may become a multimillionaire and be full time working for myself at 43. The only thing sure is nothing’s for sure. So I got to be ready for whatever.
Closing out the 2010’s with a good credit score, a savings account and a life insurance policy. Next decade we really get into investing and securing our financial future.
This past weekend was one that inspired and altered the reality that I once knew. The 31st McGee Family Reunion took place in my hometown, Freeport, Illinois and it was honestly the best time I had back home in probably 5 years if not longer. To be around my family, hangout late and create content was nothing short of a dream weekend. The only thing that was missing was more family members and more time to live in those moments.
I was inspired to create and my energy felt off the charts everyday. I was in an unbelievable zone that I didn’t want to end. I promise if I could get that feeling even once a month while I’m in Freeport, I would move back.
It was so nice to have those moments of love and appreciation. As family members leave us physically and somewhat mentally, it’s nice to have the able minds and bodies there to celebrate us. Between some turmoil and more death than my spirit wanted to handle it was nice to get together with family to give love and celebrate life. I really understand how important it is to have and attend family reunions. Now more than ever. We truly have a special family. I didn’t realize how special until I realize not many other families have reunions, especially not for 31 years straight.
I am beyond blessed to have the family I have and I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything in this world. I tried to get as many pictures as I could, but these pictures don’t begin to describe the amazing time that I had. I’m on such an emotional high from the weekend that I don’t even know if this post makes sense. Just know that I am going to continue to work hard until I can make moments like these happen at will, because I have the free time to make it so.
Disbelief is the feeling. One of my closest cousins and favorite people left this world and it truly hurts. My cousin Curtis was a very special dude. Next level brilliant if you really sat and talked with him. He had awesome ideas and always knew and believe he could make something great happen.
When I come back to The Port, he’d be one of the first people I’d see and hang with. Sometimes the only person I’d hear from. We motivated each other. Motivated in the most positive way we could. I’d encourage him to keep striving in spite of any circumstance that’s in his way. He’d let me know that he see what I’m doing and was happy to see it and couldn’t wait for our chance to link up and work together on anything.
What really hurts me is that Curt and I are the same age. Our birthdays are 9 days apart and since 15, he was just a cousin I connected with effortlessly. We had the relationship you can’t build. You just have it. Thinking back we were more alike than even I realized. It’s crazy how you don’t notice those things in real time.
I’m in shock. Sporadically crying and it took a little while to write this. I can’t do anything but accept this, but it’s hard. Many people feel your late 30’s are the end of the road. Curt and I knew we were just getting started. We were in that budding “Young OG” phase. We were now they cousins that were pulling fam to the side to explain things and connecting with the young people that approach us to give game. A whole new chapter of life was starting and now he won’t be here to see how it plays out.
I’m happy to say I can only remember great times. Whether it was rocking out to Special Ed at the Family Reunion in STL or getting it in to Project Pat in The Port before we head anywhere. Then it was those nights we’d be rolling out to Nora with Shanna and kicking freestyles or verses we were working on. Our new thing was becoming posting up at Applebee’s just to talk about our plans and catching up. I even find joy in those calls and text messages acknowledging each other but “having to get up next time”.
Man cuz, I want you to still be here. We didn’t take a lot of pictures, but this one really does symbolize a lot.
LOVE CURT! Rest Easy. Live Forever.
Have a safe, happy and blessed holiday!