I’m not broke…I’m slow strolling to my Millions.
It’s days like this where I really just don’t understand why life is the way it is. I truly do realize that I’m not going to get myself in a greater financial circumstance playing by “the rules”. The go to work full time, get overtime, collect your check and try to save rules. It’s getting me absolutely fucking nowhere and I fucking hate it!
Low wage is real. Debt is real. Not being able to have or find help is real. Sometimes I really think I’d be better off homeless or sleeping in a car. At least then I know I could afford to live day to day with a job. I don’t even know why I keep a job right now. It doesn’t even pay enough for me to live comfortably in the area the office resides. My reality is fucking trash and I feel out of options!
I don’t make excuses about my deductions or payments either. Hell, I should be making way more than I’m receiving so in my mind, that shouldn’t even matter. I should be able to cover that and a whole lot more!
I work so hard to try and do the right things and make the smartest decisions but it feels like there isn’t much moving in my favor. I want to get ahead financially. I really do. I don’t know why it is so elusive. It’s almost like I’m supposed to lose by design. I work; At some points in time 2 or 3 jobs at a time and I barely make money to half ass survive. It makes me anxious, depressed and uncertain that I have a real future in anything I do.
I’m over being positive right now. I need results. I can’t afford to live like this any longer. This truly isn’t the life for me. I am not going to die like this!
June 14, 2019 will go down as a glorious day in my fiscal life! It marks the day I made my last payment on my bankruptcy! I hated seeing the money leave my account so quickly, but boy do I enjoy being able to say that I can start over and show my true financial knowledge and responsibility.
It’s been a long and hard road. I’ve learned so much and I am in literal fear of making the same mistakes again. I think back on my negative balances, the literal few dollars and change in my accounts, the past due, the delinquent, the closed, the summons, repo’s and garnishments; Thank God I was able to overcome all of that over the past 15 years. I still owe my student loans and honestly, that’s what I will indeed tackle next! That’s going to be my biggest challenge yet and I will not lose!
The first major purchase I want to make is a truck. The truck I’ve always wanted. It’s been on my mind for at least 10 years and I’m going to get! I’ve done the car thing wrong a few times before and now I finally have an opportunity to do it right! The key is making sure I can afford it twice and no matter what happens in life. That was something I never did before or did incorrectly and every month became vital.
The most important thing for me right now is knowing that I am not going to die with a bunch of debt that my family will have to take care of. One of my greatest fears is dying broke with debt. I’m on an everyday mission to face and defeat that fear and it all starts today!
So it’s time to plan for ownership and necessity. It’s time to experience destination and luxury. Time to live life and finally enjoy the fruits of my labor. What a time to be alive!
I’m in a lot of debt. Like a lot. Not quite the 6 figure range but definitely more than I can handle at the moment. In a perfect world; I could work full time, live comfortably on the street and pay off what I owed and stick with just money to eat and I would probably be in a great space by Summer 2020. I live in the real world and we will just just deem that plan as unfeasible for now.
In an attempt to take care of the sticker for the car I am using, I was reminded that, I really owe my mom a lot of money. She’s helped to the point she can’t any more and I unfortunately haven’t given her a dime even with 2 jobs. I feel bad about that. I got to figure out something. Even if it’s just giving change to her monthly until it turns into some real money, I got to start doing it now.
I truly do believe in “Pay What You Owe”. I never want to be thrown in that moocher, leach, or beggar category and I hate having to ask for anything, especially financial. I’d definitely endure and potentially suffer without than to ask. I’ve had bad experiences with asking and accepting and well, I just never want to open those wounds again.
I also feel that as soon as I start paying what I owe, more will come my way. Trying to pay what I can with the little I have and then that energy will pay off ten-fold. When you worry about the money to pay, you never have it. When you pay up with no fear, you seem to always have enough. I love the feeling of always having more than enough.
God is about to work miracles for my financial life. First I have to do my part. Here’s to putting myself dead last and paying what I know is owed.
Ok, so maybe I have an unhealthy obsession with being wealthy. I understand that but I don’t want to turn it off. I got to stay in the hunt. There’s a lifestyle I want to live and experience. There are people I want to meet and life goals I want to accomplish. Bottom line, it’s time to get rich! As I work on my disciplines, improvements and changes, one thing is on my mind; The road to financial freedom.
It’s going to be a hard road, but I’m ready to continue it. I’m ready to have and help. I’m ready to get so I can truly give. It’s time to show myself as an asset and be a great and productive member of society.
I imagine a life of doing what I want and not doing what I have to. I imagine my wildest dreams coming true as well as experiencing things I’ve never thought of. I don’t think money is “happiness” but it definitely is freedom. That’s what I want to be more than anything. Free. Free to come and go as I please. Free to spend a whole week with my daughter and never have to wait till “later” or “tomorrow” to do something special or nice for her. Free to help my family and friends achieve their dreams.
I’ve experienced having “some”. Now it’s time to get more! Then, get more than I ever imagined.
It’s a Saturday night. I’m alone in the house with little to no light on. I’m working on my goals for 6 months, 12 months and even 3 years from today. The underlying theme is, no goal means more to me than financial freedom. I had a great taste of that in my teens and early 20’s. By 40, I hope to taste or already be feasting on financial freedom again.
As I’m prepping my goals. I’m thinking pay off this. Pay off that. Pay this in full with your paycheck. I’m over the days of having next to nothing. I no longer desire the minimum payment or want to explain why I can’t pay today or this month. It’s time I really work at building my new clean slate and paying what I owe before anything else major is purchased.
When I started my goal list, I started thinking of material things I could save for. Then a lightbulb shined and hit me over the head. The lightbulb was put in the work selling your book then get the material things you desire. So I set a goal of the number of books I would like to sell in 6 months from it’s release. If I do my part and the book does the numbers, I will reward myself. I will splurge on that new wardrobe. I will upgrade that iPhone and MacBook. I will stash away for the new vehicle that I desperately need but in no way can afford. It’s only right to do it that way. I have to complete the work then reward myself. Not reward myself because I have worked.
I need to take on a new level of sacrifice and discipline if this is really going to happen. I don’t want to be 40 and still paying the same credit card and student loan bill. That’s what’s going to happen if I don’t buckle down and get serious about my financial freedom though. The writing/typing out of your goals is a great task. It allows you to see what’s in front of you as well as put in perspective what really matters. I went from thinking of all the cool things I can get with money saved to realizing I won’t be cool until my credit score is at least on the 700 block of Financial Freedom Boulevard. Glad to realize that while I still have a few years till 40 to make it happen.