Man, how the tide can turn
The world of social media
Can turn reality upside down
The quest for likes shares and follows
Attention, acknowledgement and praise
Filters washing the blemishes
Photoshop clearing the haze
Too much consumption
Will put your mind in an ugly place
The girl that once confidently stood
On the please don’t inbox
And Never is when I would
Will be in the reactions and thread
Of that very same man
Cause that recognition feels too good
That man that shoots his shot
Like open gym with no attendees
Is ridiculed, screenshot and posted
Until his wedding day pics with his queen
Man, how the tide can turn
How the emotion changes or fades
A world that promotes you should post consistently
While humans evolve any hour in a day
Woke up with thoughts of people I don’t talk to anymore. It’s interesting considering how the beginning of this week dominated with thoughts about pursuing happiness for the rest of my life. I won’t be reaching out, but I do wonder why the thoughts of those people appeared.
It’s wild how the mind works. How it makes you tap into old times and estranged acquaintances. Even crazier when you think about how you may have called those acquaintances “friend” or “family”. Was it ever truly that? Was that just the “positive slang” that was used to greet and identify? Who truly knows? What’s very real is the memories and the lessons learned. Life is a wild ride if you’re living it right.
Other than that, I feel career happiness getting extremely close. I wish I could properly explain what’s going through my mind. What I can tell you is, if you’re happy the progress is instant. Your worries lessen and for me anxiety to “make it happen” have switched to “a matter of time” from an “I don’t know” or “what if?”
I feel good. Not cause it’s Friday, but cause I’m finally in control of my happiness. It’s less people around and it’s over for me entertaining opportunities that don’t lift my spirits and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
It’s truly wild to have so many FB memories with people I don’t speak to anymore…
So many full blown conversations, laughs and memories shared. All seemingly meaning nothing now. It’s honestly sad. You go through life thinking that some people will always be around. That the moments that brought you together create an inseparable bond, but you’re wrong. I understand nothing is forever, but it’s just a reminder how death isn’t the only thing that separates us. One day, we will live, laugh, love and function in our same space and place and there will be new characters in the story of our lives. The old characters will have spin offs. You may make a cameo appearance, be a flashback or not even have a seat at the production meeting. For better or worse you may truly never know. It’s going to happen though. Just prepare yourself for the day.
Nas was right…”Love Changes and Best Friends become strangers”
Image by Iván Tamás from Pixabay
Sometimes I wonder where I would be and how many friends I would have if I lied to people. It seems that’s what people truly want sometimes. We often speak about honesty, truth, realness and loyalty but how many people truly live it?
What I’ve learned in life through all the friends and family relationships that are now strained and estranged is that people love for you to be honest and real until it’s time to be really honest with them. You can not cuss or use disparaging words. Your tone can be calm and your words clear and direct and they will still scream bloody murder. The tears will still flow and you will still be the Villain that victimizes and hurt them to the core .
Is it worth it? Honestly, I don’t know. Human emotion wants peace, love and harmony. Integrity needs truth and high moral fabric with no deviation. I also don’t believe we are meant to be loved by the world. I believe there’s a deceptive practice in place if “everyone loves you”. I have love for so many yet only have received loved from few in return. Doesn’t stop me from being what my spirit tells me is right. I move the way I move so I can sleep well and look myself in the mirror with no shame or regrets.
As I write this I think of all the people who called me friend or met my palm with warmth and positivity. Those who said they loved me, had my back or that I meant the world to them. I think of them because I don’t see many of them anymore. I have no idea where they are, what they are doing and how the relationship got here. Crazy how life works. Some of the people who you never thought you’d be without, you now may never see again. And that feeling may be mutual.
How real was that moment in time? How real was that love and relationship? Was it really ever what you thought it was? I’d really like to know the answer one day.
The mention of suicide gives me an erie feeling. I know why and I’ll share when the time is right. Although the topic gives me an erie feeling, I will never not talk to a friend or anyone who feels they can confide in me in an order to prevent it. I will never have all the answers, but I will always be around to listen.
Check on everyone you call friend. Check on everyone you say you love. We are all walking with something and we all deal with it differently.