Visiting Grandma

I haven’t had the best visits to Freeport since my Grandma’s been sick and gone, but I know I have to get better at visiting her every time I arrive and leave here.

Today I apologized to her. I know I’ve messed up and I’m not doing what I’m supposed to do. I then promised her that I would do better. Emotionally, financially, family and relationship wise; all of it! I’m going to improve starting today.

I know she’s with me everyday but I wanted to get as close to her physical form as possible today. It’s hard to speak to her without crying. It’s hard to lose the only person you feel loves you and cares. I never thought life would be this way, but I won’t give up because it is.

Today is a day of rededication. A rededication to my gift, my purpose and my growth.

Thanks for the talk, Grandma. I love you.

Thank You, Grandma.

My grandma was the realist friend I ever had on earth…I learned so much from her. She’s forever with me and I know it’s on me to step in ever aspect of life.

Since her service, the only song on my mind has been “Praise Him” (Jesus Blessed Savior) and her performing it every Sunday. Although I was extremely shy to get up and sing in church in front of everyone, I loved when she sang this when she lead devotion. She believed every word of this and she would make you feel every word. I can still hear her ad-libs in my head. Today is the first day I was able to listen to it without crying. That’s a good start. I doubt I’ll ever be over this emotionally but I hope to be stronger and better through it all

I don’t know how I’m going to do what I have to do now, but I’m going to do it. I don’t know why the new moves and ideas are on my mind, but it feels good to have them in my spirit. My guess is God is still moving for me and my Grandma is pointing down saying, “That’s my Grandson. Help him out with some direction if you could.” I want to keep doing the things that make you proud of me. Even at your visitation, I can feel you still looking out for me. If angels are real, I have the greatest one.

Thank you, Grandma. I’ll love you forever and hope to talk to you soon.