Never be afraid to grow out of the person you were when you first got on social media
The last week and a half has been eye opening. It’s challenging me in ways I never expected but definitely need. It’s preparing me mentally while contributing to my physical growth as well. It’s all happening through a brilliant, beautiful vessel that I call, daughter.
I been challenging my daughter to drink more water and be happy and willing to brush her teeth 2 times a day. Once in the morning and again before bed. Like any other child she doesn’t want to and is showing great resistance and loads of reluctance in completing both task. I tell her why she has to. I even enforce the long term affects and issues if she doesn’t. It’s understood but the follow through is not what I desire.
It was at that moment that I began to highlight my own personal struggles. The things that I need to do and do better. I also analyzed how I’m doing them if at all. It became crystal clear to me that I can’t be effective with how I administer the need for changes, disciplines and focuses if I am not a person of that myself. While telling my daughter what she needs to improve, I too must hold that same level of accountability in my own life and times.
Although I am still going to administer and demand as a father, I am going to man up and increase my level of accountability at the same time. I got to be a man worth listening to. I got to be a man of example. What I do is a reflection of my family. If I want discipline, dedication, determination and success. I have to be the prime example of that for those around me.
It makes sense. If I want to be the head. If I want to be the leader. If I want to be listened to, I have to be someone worthy of it. My self improvements are greater than me and I finally recognize that. Once you recognize you must then make the decision to do. I will now do till it’s done.
One day, you wake up and your child is in the front seat of the car headed to school and not the carseat in the back. It’s a bittersweet moment. Sweet because your baby girl is really your big girl now. She’s smiling and happy to finally be out of that carseat she hasn’t wanted to sit in for years. She’s reached her goal and is basking in her accomplishment. It’s bitter because a lot of time has flown by and although you’ve seen and done all you could, it’s no way to get the time back. You’re going to miss the days of looking in the rearview to check on her and ask her questions. That small, cute little voice in the back asking for Wendy’s, Popeye’s or Chick-fil-a. She won’t need you as much to get in and out of the car anymore. She’ll be doing it herself. You’re proud of her for simply growing, but you know you must find a new way for her to depend on you.
I look at my life in layers. One of the greatest things I’ve done with my life is help create life. A person that I know will be better than I ever could be. It’s rewarding, but I got to make sure I keep aiming high. I got to keep striving for great and extraordinary things. Because I know my daughter is capable of all that and more. It’s only a matter of time before she starts messing with my radio.
I’m feeling the need to pour my mind out in various ways. I have so many thoughts and ideas. I realize that there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who live by the book. The vanilla, straight and narrow square pegs. Then there are those who rip the pages out of the book and draw a picture in color pencil. The ones that even as they get older they never lose their youthful spirit and vibrance. They live on their terms and the world can’t define or confine them. I feel more in touch with the latter as I continue to write here and grow mentally.
Making lifestyle changes has been very instrumental as well. Working out about 5 days a week. Changing my eating habits and keeping my mind sharp by reading and writing has been a big help so far. My book has given me a real reason to be on social media and my new life goal structure has given me greater focus on importance and real rewards.
I feel a separation. Not just a separation from “The Pack”, but a separation of who I am as I prepare to be who I want to be. None of that happens without growth and change. I’m not sure how these changes will show to the outside world. I just know I’m ready to be better than ever.
This is Anti nobody
Nor a “Coon callout”
This is an overflow
For Unity and Respect
With no pull out
It’s time to show power of self
Love and trust
Cause the power in place
Has an agenda
That’s telling you “Just Us”
Whether you kneel or walk away
Don’t pay for several days
Do it with peace for the likeminded
Not with anger for those astray
Even Harriet conveyed
Everyone can’t be saved
So that arguing amongst us
Has reached a final day
Man, Fuck being woke
Cause the President hates your guts
And his flunkies want you to burn
No history book is needed
Cause the present impacts the future
Don’t get too wrapped up in connecting the past
That you ultra late to the current movement
We the generation of hip-hop
And surviving the crack era
The good and bad of gang banging
And the war on terror
Respect Ali and Love Tyson
Watched OJ walk
Saw Denny get a beating
Cause of that taped King loss
We seen black billionaires
And our culture impact the globe
We see we curate Cool
Fashion, Style and Soul
Don’t be fooled
Lose us is the last thing they want to do
Ancestry test and flights would be free
If that was really the wanted move
So here I stand ready to unite and impact
Let’s take flight and kick ass
Cause my bets on Black…
Wandering aimlessly on my unforeseen destined path
I just wish it made more sense
The haze and the light leave me wondering
Am I rising from a grave or traveling through a tunnel
Sleepless nights from my daydreams
Living nightmares if I don’t achieve
I’ve yet to see my promised land
Yet, I’ve asked many to follow me
See I just want to be better
The evolved butterfly
The softest sunrise
A Thunderstorms Rainbow
Elite and Imperial
The value of my life’s coals are priceless
Though you may only realize after hard times
I may crack under the pressure
But in the end I’ll shine
Better is more than a state of mind
It’s an ecstasy
A reoccurring climax
A spiritual soul feed
Let us feast on future fruit
Cause now very little is sweet
We harvest seed with passion
So better family sow can be reaped