A Hate Filled Disposition

Today a piece of my mind drifted into a dark place. Dark to the point I can’t get it out of there and it’s alarming. It’s becoming glaring to me that I truly am still not over some past things that were done to me. I also have nowhere near forgiven or forgotten about a certain person and the things they’ve said and done to me.

I try to not to hate. I even spoke and written out how I’ve decided to stop hating a person. Part of me is telling myself that it’s a lie. I don’t know how to deal with this. I really need help.

When you can’t stand the sight of someones face. When you loathe interaction on any level. When you literally will find complete peace and solace in the day you never have to speak to a person again, it’s real. I don’t know how to get over this but I’ll tell you a piece of my plan.

I’m going to stay focus on me. Improving and keeping myself and my environment in control. I will master my emotions and my actions. I will just as sure let a person die breathing before I give them life by entertaining any obstacle they put before me. I need to pray. I need to meditate, but most importantly I need to level up! I need to be above the people and the circumstance that feel they can pull me down. I need to rise above any and every counterfeit being that wants a place in my path.

I’m also going to embrace the fact that there is still some great hate in my heart. I can’t ignore it. So if I acknowledge it, I can deal correctly and truly heal. It may take a long time, but it’s what’s best for me.

Image by LoggaWiggler from Pixabay