It’s time to WRITE, Write

Going to break out my pen and paper today, because I don’t know who to talk to. I need to say what I want to say right now and I want to have a real conversation about it. I’ve been holding on to this thought and really, I don’t know who can receive it, process it and give me some great insight or sound advice.

All I want is clarity. I may be the problem and that may be the solution, but it would nice to listen to more than my own thoughts for once.

If you have a person you can tell any and everything to, cherish that. It’s rare and many people simply don’t have it. I’m definitely that for some, but no one is that for me.

The Last 10 Years

As I look at many people sharing their 2009-2019 stories, I’m somewhat disappointed in myself. 10 years ago, I was working retail and in pursuit of a career in the wild world of radio. I got that career, but it didn’t come without a lot of resistance, drama, trials and tribulations. I unfortunately encountered some of the worst people I’ve ever met in that chapter of my life. Sure, their were good times and even great experiences. Some things I can honestly say, don’t happen to me or for me without that 6-7 year run. That’s both positive and negative.

By Late 2016, I was hurt, pissed off and jaded. Wondering what I was going to do next. Nothing really made sense and I had a very bad taste in my mouth about radio and a good number of the people in it. Present day I am somewhat back at 0. I have a total of 3 podcast, this blog site, BehindTheRhyme.com and a book out. In spite of it all, I made the most of my time. I’m nowhere near the success I want to see, but I know it’s not the end of the road for me. I’m creating my way and on my terms. It feels good, but I can’t shake where I’ve been and what I’ve been through.

I unfortunately have a lot of negative memories about the last 10 years. It’s messed up because even the great moments, personal and professional are clouded by bad. Bad people, bad energy, bad reactions to those people and their energy. I grew in ways I didn’t expect and became some things I never wanted to be. There were periods of time where I hated myself and many people around me. I became needy of pleasure because I felt overwhelming pain. Pain cause by many of the people that said they loved me or helped raise me.

I’m still dealing with a lot of emotional scars and trauma from the last 10 years. It makes it’s way out in different ways and different times. I don’t think I really have anyone to talk to, so I write. Sometimes I write here and other times in a notebook or on doc sheets I may take to the grave. I got to get it out so I feel better.

Through it all I’m optimistic. I pray life comes together for me better than this. The highs and lows of the past 10 years have taken their toll on me. So many things I never want to feel again. So many people that I want to erase, but I can’t. I just want to be better internally at this point. The 2020’s should be the best time of my life. I’m going to look forward to it with hope no matter what.

Thank God I survived the last decade. I must be here for a real reason.

Save Some Time. Ask A Woman

I’m awake after a really good nap and want to say this. Sometimes “Help” is a solid answer to a question.

I have been in pursuit of an opportunity for about a year. I felt I was asking pretty simple questions. I thought I was being direct and clear on exactly what I want and my intentions. Although I was all those things, I was getting nowhere fast. I was spinning my wheels and exhausting myself trying to figure out “what do I do next?”

With that being said, Women have been WAY MORE HELPFUL than men the last few weeks. The last 10-12 months asking a few men one question has sent me everywhere but where I wanted to go. Asking that same question to 2 women in last 7 days has given me clarity on what to look for, who to reach out to and what is realistic. Keep in mind there was a holiday within the last 7 days. It’s a relief. For a moment, I thought I was expecting too much.

From my own time and experience recently, It’s been pointless to ask a man a question. Ask a man a question and he don’t know shit! He don’t know what to do, how to do it or tell you how to start. I’ve asked a man how to get on the path of doing what they do! Still couldn’t get a straight answer.

Ask a woman the same question she’ll at least get you to square one to build. They don’t need to have done the job before. They don’t even need to be over the region or department. They just go get the answer. Then give you answer. Seems simple, but obviously not for everybody.

Whether it’s ego or just being a sucka…I’m cool on dudes. I don’t want to waste my time. I don’t need to spend energy talking to other men who either can’t help me or don’t want to help me, but are not man enough to say exactly that. I see why Dame Dash really stands on “Keep Women Around”. I see why many multi-millionaires and billionaires have ambitious wives who execute task greatly. I see why technology and social media has lead to a boom in the presence of women in every industry and why they are excelling. No one gets to the top alone. Knowledge is power and information is the path to resolution and success. No one seems to understand that more than women or maybe most men know that but want all the information and power to themselves. We’ll leave it as a case by case analysis.

I’m done asking another man questions this year…and I’m hiring a bunch of women one day. No wonder people think I’m exceptional at helping others. They’re not used to a man with answers that truly wants to help. Sad.

A Gratitude Call

I just got a call today from one of my good friends from the broadcasting industry.

A few weeks back he reached out wanting assistance with his resume. Although I was a little apprehensive about how much I could help, I agreed to help and did all I could to make sure I didn’t waste his time or make him feel like he wasted the wage given to me to perform the writing task.

Today, that friend called to say, Thank you. He says the resume I edited, he posted and it got him offers. The offer he took is officially putting him on a new career path and he and his Fiance are relocating! He said it all started with the resume and he wanted to sincerely thank me. He told me, “You could have said, No and not help me, but you didn’t. It may seem small to you, but it’s huge for me.”

WOW! Talk about a gracious humbling moment. That was so cool and great for my soul to receive that I am just in awe. I’m basking in the moment and the positive words shared. I’m beaming! That was really cool to receive from a friend that became a customer. To deliver in that manner for a person is unreal! I’ve always wanted my writing to help, assist, identify and connect. The official word is this definitely has done some if not all of that! That’s amazing!

WOW! Extreme gratitude! Congrats, My G! Do what you always do! KILL IT!

Solving Rich People Problems

I never see all the rich and depressed people I hear about. The ones that have so much money, but are super unhappy. I hear they are lonely depressed and are not sure what to do with their life and time.

I would gladly put in work to clear my debt or trade places for a week.

They wouldn’t even have to give me all their money. Just hit me with enough to clear all my debt so my check can go to my account and stay there. Well, maybe hit me with enough to pay my rent for 12 months in advance too.

If the money isn’t bringing you happiness, be a blessing to someone in need. It would be great for your spirit to know that you have helped someone who was unable to help themselves.

Maybe you would feel better to hire someone and pay them well to do things you don’t want to do. Bottom line use that money as a tool and help get one more family out of poverty. I think that would be a noble thing. Just a thought in case anyone was trying to figure out how to solve a rich person problem today.

Enjoy the rest of your Saturday.

Solving Rich People Problems

I never see all the rich and depressed people I hear about. The ones that have so much money, but are super unhappy. I hear they are lonely depressed and are not sure what to do with their life and time.

I would gladly put in work to clear my debt or trade places for a week.

They wouldn’t even have to give me all their money. Just hit me with enough to clear all my debt so my check can go to my account and stay there. Well, maybe hit me with enough to pay my rent for 12 months in advance too.

If the money isn’t bringing you happiness, be a blessing to someone in need. It would be great for your spirit to know that you have helped someone who was unable to help themselves.

Maybe you would feel better to hire someone and pay them well to do things you don’t want to do. Bottom line use that money as a tool and help get one more family out of poverty. I think that would be a noble thing. Just a thought in case anyone was trying to figure out how to solve a rich person problem today.

Enjoy the rest of your Saturday.