“Still Skinny Fat”: A Self Love Story

Today I went for a physical to get a discount for my insurance and I got disappointment yet encouraging news. That news was that I am back up to over 250 pounds. Yeah I had my clothes and belt on…but they weren’t 15 or more pounds! Although I was very disappointed in myself, it made other things make sense. My new fatigue issues, sleeping later and missing my workouts and of course looking at myself with more displeasure than delight the last couple months.

The lifestyle of maintaining a fit body is difficult when you don’t see consistent results. I have to decide today that my want for a great body and most importantly great health has to be bigger than the discouragement I have when I don’t see results. I been saying I want a “Ravishing Rick Rude Body” for years now and although the last year has been closer than ever, I am definitely a lot farther than I want to be.

My doctor told me to lose 13 pounds and try to get 150 minutes of exercise a week. Challenge accepted. I really want to crush that 13 lbs by the end of the month!I was so disappointed and motivated by today’s news that I went for my first mile run of the year. I used to start running in Spring; Now it’s almost fall and I’m just now taking my first run. That’s a glaring sign that I haven’t kept my promise to myself to get in the best shape of my life. It’s ok though. I’ve recognized the failure and now it’s time to make it fuel for the fire I have to get back to where I left off and take it further.

My next task is to find some lifting routine that turns my belly fat into lean muscle. It’s time I stop falling short on the biggest self love challenge of my life; My Health and Wellness.

The Overdue Life Evolution

Late July, I started a challenge with some of the homey’s. The goal was to not eat meat for 30 days. No Beef, Pork, Chicken or Fish. On paper it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.What it turned into was one of the easiest ways to prove “I can do anything if I want to.” and that made me really want to. Some days I thought about “having some wings and starting over” or “Getting this fish sandwich real quick” because people say that’s not a really a meat. I didn’t do either of those scenarios.  I just turned it into a greater mindset challenge for myself.

I decided to name it a “Discipline Challenge” and have this be the first test in the evolution of me. In the midst trying to find work and be working, I haven’t really taken the much needed time to take care of myself. When I went 30 days without eating meat. I felt accomplished. I felt good about me. I also seen that I can get through days or weeks with a greater set of options for food and that meat didn’t have to be eaten everyday. So now, I’m just going to do more discipline challenges. It’s all about the real steps to an overdue Life Evolution.

For September, the challenge is to lift weights 10 times this month. Cardio Days do not count. Why this challenge? Because for about 10 years, I been saying “I’m bout to look like Ravishing Rick Rude on you heauxs” and to be real, his corpse probably still looks better than me. I’ll start, but I’ll also finish. See a few cuts, pose down in the mirror then stop. Lose 20 pounds, compare that day 1 shirtless selfie to the progress selfie and then stop. It’s got to be apart of my lifestyle if I’m really going to make it happen. 10 days of lifting doesn’t sound difficult until you put it in perspective. LA Fitness gives out 3, 5 and up to 2 week passes and people still don’t go half the time before the pass expires. If I can lift weights 3 times a week that would lead me to meeting my goal with days to spare in the 4th week. My goal is to exceed the doable goal. My first day was September 4th. With discipline, I could be on day 6 by Saturday.

The Discipline Challenges is all about the action it takes to be the man I want to be. I’m making it public because people love train-wrecks and triumph. I’m pretty sure I’ve accomplished wrecked online in great fashion before, so let me give you some inspiration now.

It’s also a reminder that I need to start taking better care of myself. I need look better. I need to feel better. I’m really going to research and find a therapist, even though writing has been great for me the last few weeks. I’m going to dress better. I will master the clean but wild look. I will do things I love and concern and surround myself with only people that love me. Things that I didn’t know I wasn’t doing until it felt like I was literally doing nothing with my life.

I’m pumped! Discipline Challenge number 2 is on deck! follow my IG @CamQuotes to see the process. @PenPimps probably don’t want me posting half naked selfies this fall anyway. ha!