I’m mentally checked out and emotionally angry… I don’t understand what the current period of life means, but I will ultimately do what’s best for me.
I’ve dealt with a heavy burden of making people happy because of the position they’ve held and I didn’t get much in return. People will sometimes overstate their contribution, especially when it’s some shit you never asked for. Makes you hate to see people coming. Has your mood and feelings down when they’re around.
Some people are so self centered that they they don’t even have the peripheral vision to see beside themselves.
Just thinking out loud before I meditate. I can’t allow my mind to get the better of me. These few words are only the beginning on a story that may be in its final chapter.
Image by Dmitri Posudin from Pixabay
This week, I listen to a Mel Robbins audio piece on YouTube about the science and need of visualization. As she broke down the aspect of “thoughts become things” I began to remember certain conversations and people who said it in the past. I didn’t really believe it was true or false because I had been on both sides of the fence. Some things that I have wanted I’ve gotten and some things I really want, I’m still waiting for. What turned me on to giving this another try was her science breakdown. Explaining how your brain truly can’t decipher bad things that actually happened to you vs great things you want to happen to you. Both appear very real to your brain, thus able to be manifested if you take the time to train your brain to do so.
So with that realization, I put her words to use. Day 1, I sat with my eyes closed, thought about something I want and how it would make me feel to have it. I sat for a few minutes in silence and complete darkness. Darkness in my mind. I didn’t see any actual pictures. It became one of my classic moments of talking to myself. No problem with that, because no one needs to hear my thoughts and feelings about success more than me.
Day 2 was different. I made the same visualization, said a lot of the same things and added more. Then, I felt something inside of me move. It was like a burst of energy that brought me some calm and inspiration. I still seen no pictures but the feeling was real.
Day 3 and 4 were the same. No mental pictures, just all the right words and I didn’t get that feeling I had day 2 again. Day 5, I fell asleep. That’s all I got on day 5.
I can’t stop though. I’m still a baby at this. I won’t get the picture clear in my mind if I stop focusing on the picture. So I must continue to create the picture.
Visualizing and Meditating are definitely things I want to add to my day. I digest so many things that I almost feel it’s a necessity for me to grow even though I haven’t done it yet. Wanting to improve yourself is a grind in itself. I can’t think of anything better to do with my idle time.