The last two weekends, I’ve been learning valuable lessons on perspectives. I’ve been doing very little talking and a whole lot of listening. I’m in a mindset now where, I know I don’t need to challenge every opinion and circumstance because I know it’s all rooted in perspective.

I been interviewing and training for a part time gig, to assure my new life resolution comes to fruition. While there I’ve met 2 people that do the same task. One person had a lot of unexpected positives. He started from his bottom and is seemingly on a career path without even knowing it. It’s nothing he planned on but he feels he’s being taken care of well and that the company is a cool place to be. Meeting him first was good because we talked about aspirations and other cool jobs that we have and had. We seemed to link on the aspect of, this job is what you make it.

The other person’s story is very dark. The pure hate and negativity he spews is not so latent and you can hear in his voice and see on his face that he should leave, but he will not. He spent a lot of time telling me how people are cheap, disrespectful and racist. He’s telling me how people speak to him and how they will eventually speak to me. He is extremely unsatisfied and wants to negotiate more “or else”.

His spiel literally had me conflicted on what I should do next. It made me question the first person and the people I had met before him. I had to take a minute on my ride home and talk to myself about everything. First, it was all about reestablishing why I am willing to take this task on. It was not for any of the deeper reasons person two had. I know what I’m signing up for and what I need to do. I’m here to do no more than that. As far as the racism allegations; I seen how he talks to people. The N-word is a hot topic. My thought is you should carry yourself in a manner where you don’t say it to or about people you wouldn’t want to hear it coming from. And if you do hear it, you make it extremely uncomfortable to be heard in your presence again. If you feel that strongly about it, you leave with that being your reason. Cause your respect for character should outweigh your respect for money.

I prayed on this. I understand that it’s nothing more than a moment in time. I understand that it’s holding a place until I get what I’m standing by for. I don’t want to give a lot of what I heard too much energy. I just want my perspective to reflect my experience. I’m going to pray again on this. I will also admit, my spirit is uneasy on this. Not just because of person number 2, but because of what I’ve been feeling internally while trying to get this to happen. On one hand, I want to make the most of this. On the other hand I feel something telling me to stay patient and not do this because you won’t be here much longer. I’m honestly not sure what hand to trust 100%.

Patiently Impatient

I love getting new ideas because it invigorates me. I get new motivation and in a way new purpose. It’s like a new life is budding inside of me and growth is undeniable.

Within the first few days, that passion turns to impatience. I get to the point where I want it moving now. I want it “done yesterday” and I get incredibly anxious in the process. I’m trying to correct that but it’s difficult. It’s especially difficult when you have no team in place and something will require all your available time which will in turn demand your patience.

What I’m preparing mentally right now is a checklist. Things that need to get done before I unveil this new endeavor to the world. I want to take what I do to another level. I want this to be extremely special and I plan to put every vision in my mind out to the people for consumption as well as critique.

So for right now, it’s no deadline. It’s just time to collect all of the tools, resources and components that I need to make my next project special. Ok brain…drive me crazy!

Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay

Goal Redirection

The other day, I felt the world of social media affecting my spirit. So much so that I had to just log out and come back when I felt I could handle it. May sound crazy, but somedays my skin isn’t at it’s peak thickness and I just hate complaining. The consistent going on and on about problems with no solutions irritates my soul. I also am not a fan of people who try their hardest to disrupt someone else’s joy. I will never understand why that is a thing. I just wanted to share that as a form of release. Now, for what I open the “New Post” for.

Since reading that Quincy Jones interview, I’ve be reevaluating my 6 month goals. The primary goal I had was to make 10K a month. I’ve had this goal for about 3 years now and spoiler alert, I’m not close. I think I finally understand why now. It just might be because my path to the goal was filled with things I would do or will do for free, meaning the money wasn’t important for the task. It might be because I was inadvertently putting a price tag on my passions. That’s not going to get it done. It takes the fun out of the creation process. Quincy Jones said, “God Leaves the room when you’re thinking about money”. So, I erased them all. I erased every task that I wanted to do to acquire 10K a month and change my goal and path to the following below.

Make 10K a month
– Putting in work
– Be willing to do what others won’t
– Be disciplined and dedicated
– Making solid, smart decisions
– Create new opportunities

One thing I left ofF that I should probably add right now is “Continue to be patient”. I switched the path to my goal from tasks to actions because I really want to do what it takes to get exactly what I want. This may also lead to a path I had no clue I was on. I just know I’m in the interest of changing my life and making it a great one to live on my terms. I still feel God shifting the world in my favor. I just have to remain focused and keep working.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

So, What’s Right?

The days seem really long. Even as I’m being productive, I worry. Worry that I’m not doing enough or doing the right things. Then again I’m not sure what to do. I’m not even sure who to talk to. To my knowledge no one I know has been in my position before. If they have, they haven’t shared it with me.

Trying to find the right balance of life right now. I want to go all in when this book is ready for print, but I am now thinking how is that possible if I am holding down a 50 hour a week job? How do you live when you know what you want to do and it interferes with what you have to do? Why does it feel like I’m standing still?

I want to and I am attempting to do all of the “right things”. However, no one around me can deny that the “right way things” aren’t paying off to my benefit right now. When I say “right way things” I mean getting a nice secure job and working for a check. I’m going to pray a little longer tonight after I read my goals. A breakthrough has to be on the way and fortunately, I have nothing else to do, but be patient. It’s crazy cause every time I thought I had next to nothing, a little more was taken from me. Now I really got to start focusing on everything I do have so I can gain in abundance.

Mindset training has been the ultimate challenge for me. I try everyday though, so I can always lean on that. I’m prepared for any new sacrifice to get the life I desire. Because I was designed to flourish, not get by.

Motivational Tools…

I can’t go back to The Port again
Nah, that’s just where the story began
Although I pit stopped
Lost a lot
Had to think and regroup
Get focused for more
Reconnect and then understand my roots
I can’t return…

That was just a breeding ground
The cool story to promote
When they see where I am now
It’s not a destiny
Only a destination
A place to give back
And put on the map to our nation

I can’t sleep in grandma’s car again
I can’t not eat but once and win
I can’t see 3 digits in my account with a decimal
Can’t just survive like and animal
Because I want to live

I don’t want to choose bills or lunch
Cause the partial payment still ain’t enough
Don’t want to feel weak
I don’t want to feel full from crumbs
Live check to check like its really fun
Stuck in the house for weeks

I miss work cause I can’t afford to go
Not sure if I’m losing weight
Cause exercise or I’m broke
Planned a family outing, 80 dollars to my name
Grabbed change out the jar
For 8 dollars in the tank
But it was worth it for a hug
And a smile on her face
Too harden to cry
So it’s pain in my face
I cherish every moment
Hate for anything to waste
Try to remain in high faith
Till God’s light hits my place

Nah, I won’t get repoed
I won’t see another delinquent note
They’ll be no more past due
I’ve sacrificed and did what’s asked to do
Now it’s my world, time and rules…

These are my tools…