Am I???

Am I holding a grudge or just not forgetting that fuck shit you did?
That clown way you behaved or that mess my name was in.

Am I really that mean or do you just not want the truth?
Could you be fragile as fuck and I’m the only one to tell you.

Am I really that bad or you just hate to say, You don’t like me?
Cause people wouldn’t share your opinion and I wouldn’t care if your spite’s seen.

Am I holding a grudge or are you just not worth my time and energy?
You’re not as great as you think and I owe you nor me an apology.

Speak…

If it holds your mind, speak from your heart.
Don’t stifle your tongue with a word someone may need
That person in need may be you…
Don’t run from the love in your heart
Stand still and let it knock you unconscious into clarity
Understand your love and it’s energy
Challenge it to be what you need
Control your loving energy and deliver until a feel of peace

If it’s on your heart relish in the thought
The release of that feeling to beam while it’s dark
Turn that feeling into clear thought
And express with no halt
Understand what you feel, accept it and deal
Break way from the chains of suppressed ideas

Be who you are. What you are is what you feel.
Express without yield
Thoughts from the heart forever real

But You Could Die…

If you keep waiting till the year change, you could die.
Spirit wondering what could have been as your lifeless body lies.
Wishing you wouldn’t have waited since no man or woman knows their time.
A memory, an RIP, a teary-eyed goodbye…

If you wait till the ball drops then you drop to your knees…
Clutching your heart, stopping the party, a face of grit in sheer agony
What will the rest of your year be? Will it even be?
Are you really going to wait and see?
Your “soon I’ll start” mission no longer your destiny…

Your new year is now. Create your wanted season of change.
Be what you want, be what you saw and foreseen today.
Cause you can make plans for next week
And die before the end of today.
How long will you wait? Cause you didn’t plan to die today.

Image by DarkWorkX from Pixabay

Well…When?

When are you really fed up and want to make it happen?
Are you going to wait for death to provide inspiration?
Will you begin when all is lost?
Crying in a shaken state wishing it didn’t have to be like this
Will it be when you’re vulnerable? When you’re in complete despair?

When? When are you going to do?
Must you put off your desires like your cravings during meaningless crash diet?
Haven’t you suffered enough?
Not taking vacations and enjoying the fruits of your labor
Saying “not now” or “next check”
Cause eventually “next year” never comes

You fester in your unhappy thoughts
Anxious about what could have been
Nervous to start small
That pace of your heart makes it hard to begin
But the question is always, When?

When will you speak of your occupation with pride?
When will you tap in to where your passion lies?
No more of the melancholy, matter of fact demeanor
Deflated, less than elated, alternate plans to a undesired future

If it’s temporary, be swift with your tenure
Build to your path on a life to remember
Sway in the breeze of your expectations
Land past potential and flourish in revelation

You want what you think and know how to begin
Next play is to execute
To that, we ask, When?

Mind Tricks…

Is it the chase or patience?
What you can do but…
Don’t feel you can cause of the way life is
You want to vacate, walk away or flee
But don’t because of bills, scrutiny and luxury
Perception is the killer of many young and old
As a prisoner of my own thoughts on many occasions I know

I’m losing the battle in my own mind
Haunted by the success I’ve never seen
Wanting to be more than what I am
Wondering why many believe but never help me
Is it all smoke and fallacy?
Do the many truly give a damn about me?
Am I thinking and doing too much
Thus never finding what’s right for me

What do you do when you believe you can do anything?
It’s got to be more than “something”
It doesn’t count to “maintain” and “make a way”
You have to move and achieve with gumption
I need to be great and happy
Understand sacrifice is now
Hell, I’ve sacrificed enough time coming to this decision now

Things We Say…

One day when there’s enough money or next time when it’s this sunny
Maybe next time, when I get my taxes. Possibly next time I’ll stop and grab it
I got to do that for sure. You’re the only one that I adore
We’re soulmates, I’m love struck
We’ll be real friends no matter what

I can’t stand you and I want you gone
I hate this shit, time to move on
Why does it always have to be like this
I’m okay, I’m fine, I’m pissed
Are you ever truly gonna be sick and tired of this shit?
You’re just gonna leave like that? You sat here and lied like this?

I loved you, I hate you, you meant the world to me
I liked you, you’re real, you’re who I aspired to be
That dream is now gone, my feelings are so strong
I’ll be here forever, it’s hard to move on

Pretty soon, right now, I can’t cause fear
I’m afraid, not now, eh, maybe next year…

Image by nile from Pixabay