I Promise…

I Promise…
The way I try sometimes
Makes me not want to believe in God sometimes
Because it doesn’t seem like he sees my strides
Or even understands my reasons or cries

I want to wake up and not feel a way
Want to get what I’m working for
Then fight the next day
I’ll work to eat
Fight harder to keep
Break off and share
Give strength till weak

I Promise…
The way I cry sometimes
Makes me think God just ignores and sighs
Like he wouldn’t help
Or really care if I died
Like my good can wait
And like my sufferings fine

Who cares who you would help
Who cares who you could be
Who cares what you would do
Who cares what you believe

I Promise…
The way I try sometimes
Makes me want to breakdown and cry sometimes
I been working, having faith
Still no light in sight
Makes me think
It’ll be like this till I die.

I Promise…

Super Hero Ish…

I feel like I could…
Leap to my dreams in a single bound
Like a step in right direction
Could break solid ground

I feel I could breathe life
With a sigh of satisfaction or relief
Or shake death
With a head move of concern or a weep

I’m faster than the speed of life
So I slow down and speak calm
My vision is x-ray
It’s been said I see the world in my palms

My speech is impactful
My sidekick is the pen
When I imprint I impress
In my lingo lies gems

I could fight crime and save children
Speak wisdom for mental building
Destruct any being meant to destroy
And restore the loving feelings

What can’t I do; When it’s for the better of all?
Why should I not?
Who else could you call?

Good Job…

The Green Ribbon
Handed out cause you completed a task
Meaning nothing more than “Hey, I’m here”
Do you mind if I show up?
Not in for the fight
Nor for the feel of victory
The post of the fence
That’s no friend
And no enemy
The color that says go
But ask, Did you compete?
The achievement that make 2nd and 3rd place
Seem like even less of a feat

The Trophy
Meaning you were great today
The moment that you excelled
The moment of all praise
Does it truly measure the work?
Do they understand the sacrifice?
Do they see all the working days?
Do they care about the sleepless nights?

The Plaque
The mounted reminder
The fancy wooden picture
The hanging conversation piece
A measure of your last success
Much like the trophy

What do these things really mean?
Are they your source for success?
We all want appreciation
But do these things determine you’re the best?
Are you great without them?
Would you give your all and strive?
If the consolations prize
Is how you feel inside?

What about tomorrow?
The next time or in 10 years?
When someone else has that
Trophy or Plaque you revered?
Are you not great anymore?
Do you get back in the game?
Are you helping the next win?
Have you become that vain?

Whether we show up or show out
We all want something
But sometimes the things that are tangible
Truly mean nothing

Will you attend or contend?
Will you compete or complete?
How will you win beyond the day
And do you care who knows or sees?

Motivational Tools…

I can’t go back to The Port again
Nah, that’s just where the story began
Although I pit stopped
Lost a lot
Had to think and regroup
Get focused for more
Reconnect and then understand my roots
I can’t return…

That was just a breeding ground
The cool story to promote
When they see where I am now
It’s not a destiny
Only a destination
A place to give back
And put on the map to our nation

I can’t sleep in grandma’s car again
I can’t not eat but once and win
I can’t see 3 digits in my account with a decimal
Can’t just survive like and animal
Because I want to live

I don’t want to choose bills or lunch
Cause the partial payment still ain’t enough
Don’t want to feel weak
I don’t want to feel full from crumbs
Live check to check like its really fun
Stuck in the house for weeks

I miss work cause I can’t afford to go
Not sure if I’m losing weight
Cause exercise or I’m broke
Planned a family outing, 80 dollars to my name
Grabbed change out the jar
For 8 dollars in the tank
But it was worth it for a hug
And a smile on her face
Too harden to cry
So it’s pain in my face
I cherish every moment
Hate for anything to waste
Try to remain in high faith
Till God’s light hits my place

Nah, I won’t get repoed
I won’t see another delinquent note
They’ll be no more past due
I’ve sacrificed and did what’s asked to do
Now it’s my world, time and rules…

These are my tools…

Deafening Whispers…

I sit in silence to connect with my subconscious
It speaks loudly
So we communicate well and often
As I dump the day and all it’s information
I find myself searching for new answers

My thoughts tell my heart things
But are those things real?
Are they truly my wants and desires?
Are they passions and burning fires?

Alone I sit
Processing, understanding, releasing
The sounds are clear and unmistakable
No one can hear them but me
That’s cause many aren’t fit to understand

Do what feels good
Say what feels right
Act on that emotion
Evolve and take flight
Be who you want
Force no one
Walk alone if you must
Just listen; Listen…

My Star…

My bright beautiful star
How amazing you are
Shining bright near and far
The beaming light of my heart

You are you and that’s perfect
Every struggle in life is worth it
When lost and alone
You gave purpose
Forever my love
For you will flourish

You are brilliant and unique
No one can compare
You are wonderful with flair
A great breath of fresh air

Your smile lifts my spirits
Your ideas make me proud
I love being your Daddy
You’re the greatest girl around

My bright beautiful star
How amazing you are
Shining bright near and far
The beaming light of my heart