What’s…

What’s real?
The person trying to avoid contact?
Trying to to suppress feelings cause of how you’ll react
Or the person who fearlessly lives out loud with no regret
Take the heart ache or rejection and still prepares for what’s next?

What’s honest?
Saying what you felt when it’s too late?
Or speaking ahead of date to make sure things straight
Same delivery no matter the circumstance
Behind closed doors, not for the admiration of fans

What’s pain?
A subject of circumstance?
Discomfort from reality and thought plans?
A scar, a scab a wound, a puncture
A word, a tongue, a strike
A want, a hunger

What’s success?
A variable
5 artist with same canvas and colors
But not one picture presented is similar to others

What’s living?
The opposite of surviving
The feeling after grinding
The doing over trying

What’s life?
Anything you want and put your mind to
The best and worst of times
Will you fall or pull through?

What’s anything you want in this life?
Everything you can imagine or fathom
No matter if your atrocious or handsome
You got until your casket or cremation
To contribute and birth a nation
Time is the endless tool that can’t be wasted

Image by PRAIRAT FHUNTA from Pixabay

To Be Free…

I just want to be free
In control of my path and destiny
Able to search, go and roam as I please
No restrictions just God and Me

A caged bird will sing
A temporary tune
But will long to soar
Near the captivating moon
To be high above
A height known by only a few
Delighting in its ability to freely move

To be free
I want to be
Separated, detached, disconnected and unseen
Growing and changing at only my speed
Alone where my thoughts only effect me

What does it mean to be free?
Spiritually, Emotionally or Financially?
Is it the life of the party?
Or the lone man frolicking?

Maybe I am free
Free to escape in my mind
Take myself to many places
No explanation just reside

I long to be free…

What’s The Move…

I don’t belong here…
But where should I go…

I don’t belong in a quad 5 days
Clicking, typing, calling
Slowly wasting away
Sure it pays and I’m thankful
But this isn’t the way
It’s just not my destined path
So I’m planning an escape

I don’t belong in the place I call home
I never did…
That’s why it’s so easy to roam
And half check-in
It made me who I am but it’s time to move on
I still want to help and will
But as a resident…No.

I don’t belong here…
City number 3 and it’s clear
It’s deeper than “tough times”
There’s no connection here

Sporadic inspiration
Kool aid budget executions
Wanting but having to wait
Not seeing true success as I view it

It’s just hard to do it
When the feeling ain’t exuberant
And your heart is pulling you somewhere
And you’re asking “Where” to it

Don’t confuse my words and views
Cause what’s not great for me
Can be the world to you
I’m crafting an escape
Not sitting with excuse

I don’t belong here…
Well…
What’s the move?

Image by intographics from Pixabay

Mental Prisoner…

Am I in the way?
Are these feelings reality?
Is this energy manifested or manufactured?
How do I know?

Ways of the idle mind that wants but isn’t sure
Finding solace is discomfort
Searching the feeling to be secure
Why am I so far in my head?

The battle is never over
The journey has no final step
Wrestling with the desire to win
With vision as clear as a starless sky

Do I want it all…or just enough?
Go at it alone…cause recruiting is tough?
Any option but give in or give up
Cause life can’t be boring…and rough

Trapped within my own thoughts
Empowered and Pummeled by the same mind
Sitting still, oddly calm
Hoping I have wasted too much time

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

At My Desk…

I’m here, on time, putting in the work and unfulfilled
I have no problem with the task or most of the people
I just don’t want to be here

I do enjoy the sports talk and positivity
The jokes and camaraderie
The free food and holiday gifting
But this life just isn’t me

I’m feeling the urge to leap
Like a toddler on a playground step
No fear and pure delight on my face
As I enjoy the simplicity of what’s next

The fear in my chest has dissipated
The new courage to live emancipated
My mind wandering like the pollen of spring
Knowing anywhere I could happily be

I want to create, earn and do for me
I want to live breathe and truly see
A life that some do and many read
The power of knowing I work for me

April 27 2019…

Today I watched the snow turn to rain…
As it hit me I contemplated what it truly means
Leaving the gym fired up it made seek
This level of expression and poetry

Two of God’s creations clashing
Only set to survive
As I looked at my hoodie
And the surface around
It’s wonder stayed on my mind

When we fall we change
Maybe not as solid but still strong
We adjust and exist
We get through and move along

I watched the snow turn in to rain today
It brought feeling and connection
It was cold the day I fell
But the landing changed my perception