Life Would Be Easier…

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Life would be easier, if I didn’t think I was so great.
If I didn’t see wealth, health and happiness in my future.
It’d be easier if I didn’t challenge thought and authority.
But how can I not?

You’re talking to someone who thinks
They’re on the same level and playing filed as the vets, legends and pioneers on day 1.
The only difference is, I seen their greatness but they haven’t seen mine.
I believe in my ability to be an unbelievable asset to any process.
I hate resistance but live for confrontation.
That’s why it’s difficult for me.

My inner being is rebellious and revolutionary.
I come in a package that’s easy on the eyes and my charisma and aura make some uncomfortable.
It may sound like I’m full of myself, but ask yourself this question.
Have you ever been so outspoken you’ve been asked to humble yourself?
Been denied an opportunity but still requested for help?

Have you made a mark someone has tried to diminish or erase?
Have you wanted compensation more than credit and still didn’t win that race?

I think I’m sexy AF and ahead of my time
My goal is to be remembered as one of this generations most brilliant minds
I find comfort in myself and don’t seek crowds for shine
So imagine how I come off to people that run 9 to 5’s?

Hell, if I don’t big up myself who will?
Not the people messaging or texting me to say “Yo, you killed!”

I’m just saying, tell someone that don’t know me
Tell one of your wealthy, always looking to invest homies
Tell someone I been at this consistently
Tell someone without some form of contingency

See that’s what it be
Oh, Cam might get scorching hot and forget about me
Fuck dude. He’s so smart he’ll figure it out
What I’ve learned is expect yourself to always hold you down

In this game of clout chasing to “put yourself on”
I was practicing in the gym before you put shoes on
Frustration made me diversify and feel a bit sour
I continue to work
Patiently waiting for my 10,000th hour

Yeah my budget is trash and I have no couch to crash on
I don’t have time to party and BS
And I don’t have a team of hungry cats
Or a relative who is that “On”

And I’m not under 25
But it’s a blessing to be alive
Because if life was easy for me
I would have quit trying May of 0-9

It’s the curse of knowing your not regular
And people seeing it with envy
It’s knowing your phone will ring more
Once the day comes that you been envisioning

I’m going to be the bad guy who didn’t help enough
I’m going to be the asshole who words were just too rough
I’ll be labeled as difficult and that dealing with me it tough

Life would be easier if I was like them…but then no one give a fuck.

I wanna…

I wanna make changes…
Small and subtle
Yet grand and obvious

I wanna take time…
Then make time
Expand my consciousness

I wanna make love…
Soft and sensual

I wanna fuck hard…
Heart racing as sweat pours from you

I wanna grow…
Be better, evolve and flourish

I wanna know…
Tomorrow yet keep the unknown the purist

So many things I want
And there’s a lot and a little time

Just because I wanna…
I have to make it mine

Ever Again…

You may have given the most precious gift
Or been the greatest ally
Seen my best and worst
Seen my smile and heard my cry
It doesn’t seem right that we’ve reached a pivotal time
Where we may never need to speak ever again…

You felt a way and flipped
You went too far and tripped
Then doubled back like it’s all good
But, I don’t honor that shit
So please understand I’m cool if this is really it
And we never speak ever again…

We’ve all made mistakes
Find life hard at times to manage
We should forgive
Try to forget
But when it feels like a habit
Understand that my way of really getting past it
Is if we never speak ever again…

The Other Side of Sacrifice…

I heard it’s a beautiful life
On the other side of sacrifice
Later was indeed greater
and fantasy’s your delight

You indulge in dream
Cause it’s the reality your breathe
Engulfed in the bliss of validations serenity
That’s a sight to see…

A breathtaking sight indeed
The years of tears and “why me”
Are the oceans you now float in peacefully
You are paid fully

The nights you couldn’t make it
The days you felt so naked
The hurt experienced
When you felt time was wasted

But you made it…
Now your hand holds the world
Your world and it’s sacred
Held as high as your head and unshaken

Oh what a beautiful life…
On the other side of sacrifice…
Where the love of tomorrow
Helps you sleep through tonight

Future Thoughts…

Sometimes I wish I could see the future
It would help during my down times
When my mind tries to find time to make all the trying worth it

Am I chasing the wrong dreams?
Are the passions not meant to be?
Am I so far off track that my clear path can’t be seen?

Have I blocked my own blessings?
Have I played it too safe?
Things I contemplate as my mind hurries up for the wait

The wait to be seen and acknowledged
The foreseen dream and homage
The confirmation that I made it through all those wrong choice jobs and first college

Sometimes I wish I could see the future
So I can know if I should do something else
But vividly seeing a future is why I won’t give up on myself…

Layla Turns 8

To my beautiful brilliant star
On her very special day
The first girl to have my heart
And melt it in every way

My reason to thrive and fight
My constant joy and light
The day of your birth
Is what made me change my life

There hasn’t been enough of
Time, Kisses and Hugs but
Know that your Daddy Loves You
And I’ll keep trying till that day comes

You are special
You have style
Continue to grow and Reign your way

You are greatness
You are loved
On this one and every day

Happy Birthday Punkinhead!

Love Daddy