I have been trying to reaffirm the idea of success in my mind lately. I do it cause I don’t want to stay stagnant or get down about where my life is now. I see a life for myself that is so rich and unique. And I don’t mean rich solely in a financial sense. I mean rich with love and the ability to help others. I don’t like to watch people struggle and I wouldn’t want a person to struggle around me if I could ever help them.
I need to oversaturate myself with positive affirmations. Help myself at a 10X level so I can finally begin to help others. I been talking to God absent of religion. I’ve been inspired by my friends and family who have been going all in and succeeding. I check FB less and followed all the people I admire, respect or just want to watch that are positive on IG. All of that is just to say I’m trying. Trying as hard as I can to be the person I want to be. I try because I’m not meant to be the person I am now. Change starts from within and I got to strike the match to start that change. Only I’m going to pour a gallon of gasoline once that match is lit. I’m meant to be great. It wouldn’t be in my mind since I was a teenager if it wasn’t true.
Be who you’re supposed to be. I’ll see you on the other side. Good Morning.
Today wasn’t the greatest day. It was spirit crushing to be honest with you. However, as I begin talking to myself as I was driving home I noticed something. Something very damaging. I noticed that I was just spewing so much negative about life. I let this morning explode into “that’s how life always is”. Then that turned into “why will life never change”. If I hadn’t been driving, I would have wrote something so hurtful and draining to my spirit that it probably would have made me burst into tears. I can’t do that. I can’t talk bad in my life when things don’t go well.
I can’t talk like I won’t move beyond the present. I can’t speak what it currently is like it will always be. I don’t believe that. I don’t feel that. So I can’t speak that way nor accept it. It’s hard. Really hard. I got to keep pushing though. I have to tell myself that I am content with life. That I am happy. That everything is getting better. I take responsibility for today and every other day. I did look at what could have been done differently. I made mistakes leading up to this day. I became a victim of a past error. That’s not the end of the world though. I can’t treat it that way. I’m just sincerely tired of having to “take the L”. I want to live so bad that the present feels like it could kill me. The thing I always have to remember is, it’s only if I let it.