11-12-19

I am meant to live a life that many admire and perhaps don’t understand

Who Am I Helping?

As I make changes professionally and personally I have one question on my mind. Who am I helping? I am asking that because of all the people I watch and admire. They are providing a service of sorts to someone. One of those someone’s is me. I benefit from their product or service daily and I wonder am I truly doing that for someone. Are the things I write and speak truly a bonus to someones day? Am I delivering information or providing a word that they truly want to hear or read?

I want to be a service and resource that will come with being selfless. It’s about hitting these platforms with a purpose sincerely greater than myself. To deliver authentically and with a bigger benefit beyond “Likes”. Am I truly doing that?

The one thing that’s for sure is, I won’t be in a rush to post until I answer that question.

Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

I’m A Writer…

Behind this desk, I feel so caged
Not built for routines or ways mundane
I’m a writer…

Meant to explore this whole world
With my one life
To travel and express
To create and script life
I’m a writer…

A person to make you feel
Connect with my joy or pain
Give you the smile
Force you to think
Provide the phrase for your day
I’m a writer…

Not just for the pay, but the love
A fantasizer with a prize
Better yet a gift from above
I’m a writer…

Possibly trained but not taught
The language of the distraught
The peace after we’ve fought
I’m a writer…

So it’s time I live in that purpose
Societies conditions have me nervous
But no matter where I’ve ventured
Or path I’ve turned
I’m back to writer…

A Chasing Revelation While Brushing My Teeth

I think it’s time I stop chasing money. I say that because of my fear of once again being in insurmountable debt. I had an expense that I couldn’t pay cash for and well, now I’m a little more anxious than I was in say June of 2019. I had to charge that expense. Two things popped in my mind when I did this.

1. I am not buying a car anytime soon. I’ll lease or walk.
2. I need to find a way to get this money ASAP!!!

As I get prepared for the day today, a Jadakiss lyric popped in my mind.

Soon as you start chasing the money, that’s when the money start running
-Jadakiss

To be real, money has been running my whole life. It’s been running my conversations, my aspirations, my fantasies even my career. Now it’s running my family and my mind. I have to stop that today. I realized my purpose and that gave me the peace I needed. Now, I got to make sure that my purpose runs my life everyday and not money.

I live in America. A Capitalist country that runs on the Almighty Dollar. Even with that fact, I can’t let the dollar run me. My purpose is to be a resource and I can be that no matter what is in my wallet.

Image by Jonny Lindner from Pixabay

Recognizing My Purpose: Day 1

Today is day 1 of recognizing my purpose as a Resource that operates with Gratitude.

This morning was different. My visualization was not about accumulating wealth. It was about me operating in my purpose and how it will make me feel. It was about me drawing the energy from others that I have contributed to positively. The thought of that feeling was great. Like it was actually happening in that moment. That feeling was different than the anxiety and impatient feelings I get when thinking about acquiring money. When I visualized operating as a resource, I felt like there was more than enough time. I felt like it would be accomplished daily even hourly. There was no pressure or suspense because I know I can get this done no matter what the circumstance.

I’ve help people when I’ve had something, next to nothing and when I felt I had everything. It never changed. I am hoping that recognizing that and moving with it in mind as an everyday contribution will give my mind some freedom from my focus on wants, needs and temporary have-not’s. I look forward to sharing new experiences and revelations.