How Does Home Feel?

I was watching a clip of Derrick Rose, the day B.J. Armstrong called him and told him he was being traded to the New York Knicks. Man, was that heartbreaking to watch. You could hear in his voice that his dreams were shattered and that he had absolutely no desire to leave the place that he loved and called home.

It made me think, why don’t I feel like that? Sure I’ve had some bittersweet moments during moves, but I’ve never not been ok with leaving my city or state no matter what the situation. Although crushing, I envy D. Rose. He found solace in the city of Chicago. It’s where he wants to live and eventually die. He loves it there and is content with being there forever. I’ve never had that feeling. I want that feeling.

Maybe it’s my level of success. Maybe it’s my constant struggle. Whatever “it” is, it stops me from wanting to stay put. I’m in a mental space now where buying a house would be great, but where? I have no idea where I would call home right now for 10 years. I want to travel and visit other cities. Catch the vibe, get the urge and then pack up and begin forever. No more hopeful talk, I will do it! I’m in search of home! But the key is letting home find me.

To put it out in the world, I’ve always had an unexplainable love for Dallas, Texas. Something about how I felt while I was there even for a short time just felt good to me. It was an indescribable comfort. I definitely plan to venture that way again soon.