30 Thoughts Before 38: Full Playlist

On April 15th, I started a countdown to my 38 Birthday. It was about all the thoughts on my mind and things I hope to improve on as I venture deeper into my late 30’s. Here’s my complete list of 30 thoughts before 38.

At My Desk…

I’m here, on time, putting in the work and unfulfilled
I have no problem with the task or most of the people
I just don’t want to be here

I do enjoy the sports talk and positivity
The jokes and camaraderie
The free food and holiday gifting
But this life just isn’t me

I’m feeling the urge to leap
Like a toddler on a playground step
No fear and pure delight on my face
As I enjoy the simplicity of what’s next

The fear in my chest has dissipated
The new courage to live emancipated
My mind wandering like the pollen of spring
Knowing anywhere I could happily be

I want to create, earn and do for me
I want to live breathe and truly see
A life that some do and many read
The power of knowing I work for me

A Thought To Believe

I love that we live in a world where you can still make a career and life out of sports and entertainment, even if you’re not in the 1% of the most talented or elite. Now, if we can get at least 50% of people to believe that…

Sharing More Thoughts and Feelings

One thing that has never changed about me is my love for recording and my love of the Live show. I didn’t realize that until I was sitting last night thinking about the money I had made this week and was asking myself “what’s next?”

I’m desperately trying to be patient and I think I’m doing a great job of it. It’s hard to rest and be patient when you have your goals and you want to seize and opportunity but you have to let God and time do their thing. That’s why everything earned in this world must not be taken for granted.

I am so blessed to be working right now. I’m so blessed to not feel the pressure, stress, anxiety and depression that was coming over me literally just this time last year. As the blessings continue to come down, I won’t forget where I was or where I am. Because where I’m going will bring joyous tears to my eyes. I will celebrate and work like I don’t deserve it, so that every day can feel earned.

I am one step away from living a new dream. The door isn’t locked but I am being respectful and waiting for it to open.

Looking In The Mirror…

Looking in the mirror…

I see changes. Subtle changes from the new decisions I’ve made. They’re the improvements I desire. Peeking through like sunlight in the cracks of the unknown.

Lookin in the mirror…

I see hunger. The hunger that causes action of things never thought, seen and done before.

Looking in the mirror…

There is still passion there. The battle is exhausting, but I am still in the fight for what my mind has photographed and shown me could be mine.

Looking in the mirror…

There is no more fear. A lessening anxiety, but an ounce of desperation. Whether good or bad will determine what I do on the path to my destination.

I see…

I see a winner. A fighter. A man ready to risk it all. Willing to do what’s necessary and refusing to waiver or fall.

A time stamp of evolving. A new discipline and focus. A marathon man who is not in want of fame level notice.

I look in the mirror…

And I don’t blink…

Looking in the mirror… laser focused, bare with time to think…