2018: Dedication, Hard Work plus Patience

Written December 11th 2018. Edited December 30th

My spirit is telling me to speak on my year now even though this year is far from over. What I can tell you about the image above is these are the things I feel comfortable sharing and can sum up my year the best.

The surgery picture is confirmation that it was important to improve my health this year and even through the pain, I was able to joke and press forward. I made great strides. I gave up fast food and pork for over 5 months. I fasted for 3 days. I began a serious mission to get rid of my belly fat and so far so good.

The family pic is a reminder of what matters most to me. I don’t get those moments enough and it’s a reminder to stay focused and know that no matter the obstacle, I can make it happen. Absolutely nothing on this earth can stop me from being the father I want to be.

I put out my first book this year. I am still living in a beautiful disaster and I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. The moments help shape my life and mind. It helps me press on and feel satisfaction when I persevere and survive. I am still overwhelmed by the people who purchased, read and liked the book. I still want to do promo and really push it. It’s only the beginning in more ways than five.

I may have left the corporate terrestrial radio world, but this has been my favorite year for media and content to date. I have 2 podcast that hit the 1 year mark this year. The First Black Champ podcast and Bangin on Lunch Tables podcast. I also made some guest spots on other shows and created what I feel is some of the greatest content and conversations I’ve ever had. It’s been a blast creating with friends, meeting new creators and creating really dope moments that I hope will live forever.

Debt and the quest for financial freedom became a battle so real that I took what was probably the biggest lost I’ve ever had. That picture at the top right is my bank account. When I said “I didn’t have it” or “I’ll try to make something happen” that’s exactly what it meant. This storm will pass but reality is very hard to bear sometimes. I’ve already begun the repair and know that brighter days are ahead.

Through all the highs and lows I experienced this year, it all came down to one word for me; Gratitude. I’m grateful to be alive. I’m grateful to have worked every single month this year. I am grateful that I was able to create the moments I wanted to create in media. I am grateful for the true friends in my life and the great opportunities that were presented as I rolled with every punch this year swung at me. The image above proves, I truly won more than I loss.

Top Left. My favorite Rap album of the year. Nipsey Hussle “Victory Lap”. I feel some of the lyrics, songs and concepts so much in this album it’s scary. I remained Dedicated to my progress. Willing to Hustle so I can too can motivate. This album gave me a lot of hope that I can make something happen. Won’t lie to you, somedays I tear up on a couple songs because of what I’ve gone through. This made the above image simply because it’s added to the soundtrack of my life.

I will allow nothing or no one to break my spirit and stop me from my quest for greatness. 2019 is going to solidify that I am a true force that can not be denied. I welcome all challenges and opportunities. The best years of my life are just beginning. 2018 was a year to get back and maintain. 2019, I go for more than I ever imagined.

Bangin On Lunch Tables: The BOLTS Best!

It’s the last episode of Bangin on Lunch Tables for 2018 so we had to talk about some of our favorite songs, artist, albums, moments and people in the world of Hip-Hop! Yeah, we talked Bone vs Migo’s part 3 and we get into the realest discussion you will hear about Andre 3000 vs J. Cole. J.R Bang is our special guest as we close out a great year in hip-hop on the year ending #BanginOnLunchTables podcast!

Dear 2017, Sincerely, CamQuotes

Dear 2017,

I won’t lie man. There were a few times over this year, I hated you. I hated your guts. I felt you were the worst thing that could happen to me. I took several hits, fell from my usual grace and had moments of no clear direction with no one to call on. A lot of sleepless, angered and even random tear-filled days and nights came from you.

Friends and family became estranged. Relationships torn apart or left to wonder about. I reached out to a person I really thought was a friend this year, to say “Hey, you’re doing your thing. I see you working”. I had no other motive than showing respect to someone out here earning. What I got back was a response of “I don’t reach out because I don’t want to be disrespectful”. Me being who I am at my core, I took that as “You don’t mess with me. So, I’ll stop messing with you.” And well, communication is more nonexistent than ever. I should have known the friendship wasn’t real when the only communication was “Happy Birthday”. Family, well that didn’t go much better. What I will say is, I love my grandma more than anything and I’m glad she’s still here.

I spent a lot of this year thinking “I have nothing” and well, God took even more away from me. The most valuable lesson learned in this rollercoaster year. It really taught me that I had way more than I thought and if I took time to acknowledge that, I would have more right now. I’m glad it didn’t take me a whole year to figure that out, because things got better. I now know to speak on my haves and my wants because that’s what really builds the progress in life.

I reconnected with great friends and strengthen bonds with some of my closest friends. I’ve learned that people are willing to help me because I am a great person to them and that they know I would do the same for them. I took on several jobs that let me know that treatment really does reflect performance and morale. I’ve taken risks for moments I will never regret. One of those risks was apologizing this year to a person I felt I hated. That’s a risk because my past apologies didn’t go so well. However, this time I really seen the wrong on a bigger scale and I thanked the person then apologize. No we’re not “friends”, but I have better spiritual peace now that, that heavy burden of hate has been lifted off of me.

I definitely won’t forget the good. Something as simple as a jean jacket brought me so much joy. I got a chance to rap to a 3-6 Mafia beat for my 36th birthday. That was an honest life goal. I got married to a beautiful person and inherited a wonderful family who has shown me a new normal for family behavior that I’m just not used to seeing, but I definitely needed to see as I move into this chapter of life.

I may have lost my passion for BehindTheRhyme.com, but I wrote more than ever this year. I went through so many phases of “who I should be” and so worried about how to brand myself that I ended up at square one. Then I chose to put so many bottled up feelings and emotions on this site. Some feelings dating back to over 20 years ago and I got the greatest reaction and reception to anything I’ve ever done. It let me know that people may not know me, but many can relate. Men and women from anywhere can relate. All I’ve ever wanted to do is be myself, create and connect. And you showed me how to do that.

I got inspired. I created. I worked hard many days and nights. I have 2 websites, 2 podcast and a book for sale. I am becoming the content king I always knew I could be. More importantly, I’m becoming the man I always knew I was. You’re going to go down as one of the most pivotal moments of my life. You were one of the most important chapters. Without you, there is no success story to tell and for that I thank you. I’ll be sure to speak highly about you and give you the respect you deserve.

Sincerely,

CamQuotes

As I Start December…

As I Start December…

I’m reminded of everything I was
As well as everything I am
My great gains
My draining losses
My new aspirations and desires
My want to restore and begin again

The steps I’ve taken
To be a better flawed being
The clouds that were in my vision
Until I used a different lens to see
I’ve changed. Nah…
I’ve evolved
Closer to the person I’ve always wanted to be
Wise enough to know
This years journey had to be

To feel like you’ve had nothing
Then lose more in that thought
To feeling I have everything
And see progress roll on
An unforgettable 2017
A pivotal chapter of my life
You’ve made me stronger
I thank you
Now it’s time I take flight